


The World Was Made for Us

by nihonlove



Series: Omegaverse AU [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alpha/Beta, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Alternate Universe - Canon, Alternate Universe - Fusion, Beta/Beta, Beta/Omega, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Gen, Implied Mpreg, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV First Person, Possible Mpreg
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-13
Updated: 2014-06-11
Packaged: 2018-01-24 15:29:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 26,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1610090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nihonlove/pseuds/nihonlove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Armin and Eren's friendship could withstand anything, including being born different types, being the two heretics of Shiganshina, being aware Armin was not like all the other Omegas. But after their home is destroyed by the Titans and they enter the military to fight their oppression and to be able to live, they both have to learn new things about themselves and each other, as well as face the prejudices and judgements of the society. As they can't help but fall for one another, can they be or stay together despite the social stigma their relationship would face if everyone found out about Armin's secret? Even with the more liberal military society, can their relationship ever have a place in the world?</p><p>An Omegaverse take on the Attack on Titan universe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue: Armin

**Author's Note:**

> This is the story I've been wanting to write for quite some time. Armin is an Omega, Eren is an Alpha. But there is a twist to their relationship, and I've also played with conventions with the types of many other characters as I'm sure you'll see in time.
> 
> It's been a pretty long while since I've last written from first person point of view, but it was a very interesting experience. The the point of view character will change with every chapter, mostly alternating between Armin and Eren, but don't be surprised if you see Mikasa or Jean's point of view once in a while as well.
> 
> As always, special thanks goes to ShadowFaeyre for beta-reading, encouragement and for listening to my woes about this thing.

I cannot remember when I first realised I was special.

 

I suppose it was almost given to me in my mother’s milk, in the voices speaking over my cradle; in the apples given to me for free by the people visiting the marketplace I was passing through, in the words “Eat this, you’ll need more nourishment if you hope to have healthy children”, “Armin is such a bright boy, let’s hope his children inherit some of that intellect” and “Whom do you think Armin will choose as a mate?”

 

(Back then I could still walk safely on the streets of Shiganshina, without the fear of being mocked, taunted or hurt.)

 

The last of those phrases become considerably rarer after I met Eren. It seems so long ago now; I can hardly remember a time when he wasn’t a constant, powerful, magnetic presence in my life. I met Eren through his father, Dr. Grisha Jaeger, our town physician. Dr. Jaeger had come to my house to check up on my family’s health, although I remember him paying the most attention to me. He had brought Eren with him that day, but I can’t be sure if it was simply because he wanted his son to have a friend his age, because he hoped the two of us would one day become a pair or to simply show Eren the routine processes of his work. Dr. Jaeger was far more competent as a doctor than would be expected from the town physician of such a small border district as Shiganshina, as he would later very much prove, and many hoped Eren would grow to inherit his father’s occupation. Likewise, as a young and healthy Alpha boy, Eren was expected to marry and sire children to then pass the doctor’s skills forward to, when the time came.

 

Alpha and Omega, the holiest of unions. Naturally people were hoping it would come to pass between the two of us, perhaps before we’d even met, but definitely afterwards.

 

I cannot recall much from that day, except that I didn’t really care for the prodding and poking the process of medical check-up entailed, and I remember that I was very embarrassed that Eren witnessed all of that because I was in my underwear nearly the whole time. I wasn’t used to the presence of other children, and my parents had always been very attentive to see that my clothes were as decent as possible when I left our small house, so being nearly naked in the presence of a boy my age was something new for me. I also do not know what it was about me that day that left Eren not only tolerating but even seeking out my presence, when he generally didn’t get along with the other children in the district. I don’t know if it was something I had said or done, or just something he had decided on or had been convinced by someone else to do, but he kept coming back and over the next few months we started to be together much more than apart.

 

We climbed trees, played hide and seek, I would share with him the apples the townspeople granted me, we would sleep over at each other’s houses.

 

(It all seems so long time ago now…)

 

One day then, when I was perhaps five or six, I said goodbye to Eren at the door of my house just before sundown as he prepared to head home for the night. He waved all the way to the corner where he had to turn, a huge smile on his face as always, and I waved back even after he’d gone, before coming back inside and closing the door behind me.

 

My mother was by the sink, washing the dishes, my father writing something or the other at the kitchen table. After I’d stepped further inside, Mum turned to talk to me over her shoulder as she kept drying the plate. I took it as a subtle invitation to come and help her, as my parents had always been very insistent that I help around the house as much as possible. “For your future’s sake. You’ll understand when you’re older.” They would always say.

 

Mum smiled and nodded at my behaviour, silently telling me I’d done the right thing, before handing me a clean towel to dry the plates with. As she passed me the first one from the bucket of clear water, she said: “You and Eren seem to be getting along well.”

 

“Yes, Mum.” I murmured, not entirely sure how to respond. Surely she didn’t think I was spending too much time with Eren? Because I wasn’t sure if I could keep away from him, or keep him away from me, even if I tried. A life with a friend in it was just so much more superior to a life without one, and I wasn’t particularly keen on going back to the past.

 

Mum was smiling though, so that eased my worries some. At least she didn’t seem to be mad. “He’s the son of a doctor too. He’ll make a fine husband for you one day.”

 

I let out a soft laugh. “Mum, Eren is my friend. I’m not going to marry him.”

 

Mum seemed surprised at that, but composed herself as she handed me another plate. “Well, I suppose that’s fine, but there aren’t very many Alpha boys your age around here. And Eren would be a very safe choice for you, dear. You already get along well, and he will be able to provide for you and your children once he grows up. If he won’t do we might have to try and find you a husband from outside of Shiganshina and I doubt anyone here, least of all your father and I, would like it if you had to leave Shiganshina…”

 

Now it was my turn to be surprised. I hadn’t had a clue my parents had been thinking about this type of a future for me without saying anything about it to me. I didn’t think I wanted to be a housewife whose only purpose was to take care of children. I wanted to travel, to see the world outside the Walls my grandfather had told me about. If my parents were under the misconception all I wanted out of life was to find a good husband, I felt it my duty to correct them immediately.

 

“Mum, I don’t think I want to get married at all, or have children. Or at least, that’s not all I want to do.”

 

My mother turned to me in such a hurry that she dropped the plate in her hands. Even my generally quiet father stood up from the table as Mum grabbed my shoulders and kneeled down to my level, meeting my eyes with a serious look on her face.

 

“Don’t ever,” she hissed, almost panting, her face pale. “ever say that again Armin. You will change your mind as you’ll grow older, but if someone has heard you by then no one will want you anymore when that time comes.”

 

I looked over to my father, who had the same shell-shocked look on his face my mother carried, but as usual, he didn’t say what was on his mind. But I understood that they were upset, even if I couldn’t quite comprehend why, so I merely nodded, silently promising them I wouldn’t mention not wanting to marry again.

 

That, however, only lasted until they started talking more about the outside world amongst themselves, and with my grandfather. I wasn’t even supposed to know about it, but I’d woken up one night when I’d heard them talking downstairs. I’d quietly peeked down the stairs, and seen the three of them sitting around the table, hunched over a large book, talking in hushed voices. However, a joy I had never seen before seemed to radiate from all their faces, so I had realised this was something special. Curious, I had listened to their conversation, heard about my parents’ plans to go to the outside world soon. It all sounded so thrilling. But at the same time, unfair. If my parents wanted to leave the Walls against all the rules, why couldn’t I stay unwed? Why couldn’t I go with them to the outside? With a mixture or bitterness and curiosity twirling inside me, I’d stayed in my guard place until Grandpa had left. He’d put the thick book underneath the wooden sofa, which had a lid where people sat on it so that we could use its inside as storage space. He said something about my parents needing it more than he right now. I didn’t stay to watch him and my parents say their goodbyes and instead rushed back to bed so as not to be caught, keeping firmly in mind where the mystery book was hidden.

 

The next day, my parents left for work as usual, knowing I was going to be seeing Eren and would therefore be safe by myself. As soon as they were gone, I took the book from under the lid, and replaced the pillows on it just in case someone came back home before me. Then I left to meet with Eren by the river, holding the tome tight against my chest all the way there. No one would think it unusual for me to be carrying a book, but I had to be careful that no one would see the title. Regardless, I wanted to show it to Eren. I didn’t even think about why I wanted to share this with him as badly as I did. But I wanted to and would tell him about my parents’ plans and the outside world itself. I was also going to tell him about how I didn’t want to just be another Omega birth-giver but go to the outside world just like my parents were going to. I could only hope he would understand. But I wanted him to know.

 

“The outside world? But talking about that or owning books about that is strictly forbidden! The Military Police will catch you if you’re not careful!” Eren ranted as I told him about the book, but it sounded almost recited, as if was just repeating the words someone else had told him numbers of times until they’d finally stuck. And despite his words, he eagerly flipped through the book with me, learning all we could about the burning water, the mountains of ice, the fields of sand, and most of all, the vast body of water known as the “sea”, which was supposed to cover most of the world and be all salt water as well!

 

“But that can’t be right!” Eren exclaimed, green eyes wide as I read over that particular part. “Salt is highly valuable, the merchants would’ve used it all up in an instant!”

 

“According to this, the sea is so enormous that it _can’t_ be depleted of salt!”

 

“Wow…it still sounds impossible though.”

 

“Well, the world out there must be far vaster than the inside of these Walls!” I then looked around myself to make sure no one was listening or walking nearby. I lowered my voice and whispered over to Eren. “Can you keep two secrets?”

 

“Two whole more, besides all this? Sure I guess, but I wonder where all of this is coming from all of a sudden.”

 

I checked one more time for eavesdroppers. “My Mum and Dad are apparently going to the outside world soon.”

 

Eren’s eyes widened. “Seriously?”

 

I nodded. “I heard them talking about it with Grandpa last night. That’s also when I saw this book. But don’t tell anyone, I don’t think they want me to know yet.”

 

“Okay.” Eren nodded as well. “What’s the other secret?”

 

“Eren…I think I want to go with them.” He opened his mouth to say something, but I beat him to it. “Not right now, I mean. I think I may be too young still. But someday. I don’t…” I took a deep breath, preparing myself for Eren’s possible reaction. Would he understand, or would he try and talk me out of feeling like this, like my parents? “I don’t want to just be someone’s mate. I want to live my life and see the world before I get married and have children.”

 

Eren looked right at me. His eyes were wide, but he didn’t look shocked or angry. In fact, he looked more…excited than anything. Before I could react, he had reached over for my hand and pulled it between us. “Then I will come with you. We’ll go together.” A grin spread over his face, so large I was afraid it hurt. “To be honest, I don’t think I want to be a doctor like Dad, even though people say I should. I don’t want to live the rest of my life inside these Walls, not knowing anything about what else could be out there! So Armin…do you think you’d mind if I came along?”

 

Now my face spread into a smile as well. “I would love to go together with you, Eren!”

 

“Then, it’s a promise!” Eren held up his right hand, pinkie stuck out. I took my own hand out from where he was still holding it and laced my right pinkie with his as a sign of our promise.

 

…

 

Soon afterwards, my parents disappeared. My grandfather took me in, and he told me they’d gone to the outside world like they’d planned (I strongly suspect he had known I’d been eavesdropping that night – that may even be why he’d left the book behind), but I wasn’t so sure. They’d left so suddenly, without even saying goodbye. One night they were there and the next morning they just weren’t. I had no idea how they could’ve crossed Wall Maria either. It might be that the Military Police had somehow found out about their plans and had captured them, effortlessly, under the wraps, without anyone being the wiser. I never found out what had truly transpired, but I would never see my parents again. I preferred not to try and figure out how they’d gone. I wasn’t sure which sounded worse: dying from being eaten by a Titan or at the hands of other humans, all because of a dream.

 

My parents’ disappearance also held other consequences, these related directly to me. In a small town like Shinganshina, it was always a bit hard to keep anything a secret, so the rumours of my parents going to the outside world began to spread after a while, though I do not know from which source they got these rumours. Their sudden disappearance, as well as their foolishness to chase such a dream that was so certain to end in death, scared the people and started to turn them against my parents, as if they were afraid that if they dared to speak one good word about them they would end up with whatever fate my parents had suffered as well. This attitude also slowly began to extend towards our whole family – my grandfather and I. The adults of Shiganshina still saw me as a ray of hope for our little district, trusting that the children I would one day carry might bring the town into a brighter future with their strength and smarts, so they mostly simply whispered things behind my back, worrying about how much of my parents’ “heresy” had been passed down to me.

 

The other kids weren’t so kind, however, as they rarely are. It was around this time that I first started to get harassed, and the name “Heretic” began to stick. At this point, the older, bigger boys weren’t yet as rough as they later would be, most likely because it would still have looked bad in the adults’ eyes if they hurt me. They would mostly push me, either against the houses or the streets, as well as call me names. “I’d rather be a heretic than stay ignorant my whole life.” I would say. Sometimes they’d kick me just a little, usually when I spoke back like that. But they always avoided hitting me and left my face alone, making sure not to leave bruises where they would have been the easiest for the whole world to see.

 

The only one who seemed not to turn against my family was Eren, and by extension his family. Whenever Eren would find me being pushed around, he would rush over to help me, even rather foolishly at times. He often wasn’t able to win against the other boys, because they usually attacked as a group and there was just one of him, but he never stopped coming to my aid, even when I begged him not to, saying that they’d leave me alone once they got bored with me. But I suppose it went against Eren’s very nature to stay out of it when an Omega was being hurt. As we grew, he honestly began to act more and more like he was already my Alpha, protecting me and seeming to understand how I was feeling at any time without me actually saying anything. Since my parents’ disappearance, he did his best to keep my mind off of it and comfort me when I needed comfort. He was in general very attentive to me and my feelings, despite being so rough with nearly everyone else. He would take me to the river or to the farming areas when I didn’t want to be around people and listen to their whispers, he held me when I felt like crying and played with me like normal when I needed my mind to be taken off from everything that was happening around me. I wasn’t sure how he could always tell what I wanted, because according to everything I’d learned, Alphas weren’t supposed to be able to sense Omegas’ emotions and wants until we would be a little older and the pheromones would start to activate. Whatever it was that helped him know these things, it made life a lot easier for me during some of the hardest months of my life so far at that time. And despite my words of not wanting to be just some Alpha’s mate, being cared for like this made me feel rather warm in my chest.

 

One late summer day, when the two of us were hanging under a large tree near the windmills and farming fields just outside Shiganshina, Eren must’ve sensed I was in an appropriate mood for him to talk to me seriously, because he queried: “Armin…with all that has happened, do you still want to go outside the Walls? Because I wouldn’t mind if you wanted to take back your promise…”

 

I hugged my knees to my chest, but in all honesty didn’t have to think about my answer. I had been thinking about it for a while myself, ever since my parents had left, but in spite of that… “No, I do still want to go. Perhaps now even more than before. I want to know if…if what is out there was worth it for my parents to die in order to see it.”

 

Eren seemed to hesitate for a bit, before he said: “I’m sure it is, but…what if it isn’t?”

 

I shrugged sadly. “At least I’ll know then, right? It’s better than living on as ignorant.”

 

However, a few months after that, things got considerably worse, this time affecting the whole district of Shiganshina. No one knew where it had come or sprouted from, but a terrible illness began to spread around the town. We soon became completely cut off from the rest of the world so that the illness wouldn’t spread. We were all trapped in Shiganshina, seemingly doomed to lose our lives with no way to escape. The symptoms of this strange new illness included a high fever and the break of strange, disgusting splotches all over the skin. People in Shiganshina started talking of it as a curse from God, because it seemed like everyone who caught it was doomed and that almost everyone was doomed to catch it.

 

It was only a matter of time before I caught it as well. I had never been as healthy or strong as the people of Shiganshina would’ve hoped for me to be, after all.

 

I don’t remember much about those days of being trapped in my own body. It seems like all through that time I was in some kind of a dream-hazed state, too weak to do anything but lie in bed as the fever caused my body to sweat and tremble at the same time. Then, during one of my clearer moments, I remember that Eren was there. He held my hand, even if he must’ve known it could be dangerous. He had so far escaped the illness, having always been the picture of health, so he should’ve stayed away from the sick ones to be able to avoid catching it in the future as well. I can’t remember if I voiced these thoughts, but I do remember that then Eren’s father was there as well. He was holding a strange sort of tube that seemed to have a needle at its end. He raised my arm from the bed, and Eren hurried to take my other hand instead. I felt something stinging my arm, and realised Dr. Jaeger had put the needle of the tube into my arm.

 

I must’ve passed out sometime afterwards, because I hardly remember anything from then on. But slowly, clarity began returning to me. Life began to triumph over death and my health started to return to me. Eren still came over, and sometimes I was even lucid enough to hold a conversation with him. I was still fairly weak, but sometime afterwards Dr. Jaeger visited again and assured both my grandfather and I that I would be fine. Eren talked to me about what had happened outside while I’d been trapped in bed; about how his father had come up with a miraculous new cure called a “vaccination” that he had also used on me and that had been able to cure nearly everyone already ill as well as prevent it from spreading onto the ones still healthy. It sounded almost too good to be true, but me being alive was enough proof that this cure did indeed work. After all, if a frail person like me could be saved with it, the stronger ones surely would triumph over the illness as well.

 

Even after my fever went down, I still had to stay in bed for a while longer for I had lost quite a bit of weight and was still very pale and frail from my illness. Dr. Jaeger came over every once in a while to check me over. These days he would no longer bring Eren along to observe. We were growing and it would soon be indecent for Eren to see me without anything on. Dr. Jaeger would check my heartbeat and my weight, send me to the loo to get a urine sample and took some blood from me. He would later test them back at his house by using some powders and flame in ways Eren had told me about but I didn’t really understand.

 

Then one day, just a few after we’d seen him last, he came again. He excused himself to talk to my grandfather for a while. They went outside the house and spoke in hushed voices, so I couldn’t make out what they were saying. When they came back, Dr. Jaeger said to me: “Armin, I’m going to give you a drink that will put you to sleep for a while. I need to make sure of something and it might not feel very nice so it’s probably better if you’re not awake. Do not worry, you will wake up when it’ll be over, and I’m sure I’m just worried for nothing. But I need to make sure everything is all right, that there are no further consequences caused by your illness. This is all very standard, so can you be brave for me and drink?”

 

I hesitated. “Is Grandpa all right with it?”

 

“Yes, we were talking about it just now.”

 

“All right then…”

 

He gave me the drink which tasted sweet, but somehow not in the way you want it to, and I soon, indeed, fell asleep. I do not know what had transpired while I slept, but afterwards my lower back hurt just a little. I must’ve woken up earlier than Dr. Jaeger had expected me to, for I heard him and my grandfather talking right by my bed. Even through my drowsiness, there was one word I was able to make out from their conversation.

 

“Infertile”.

 

I’d seen the word before in some of the medical books of Dr. Jaeger’s that Eren would sometimes show me when I visited his house. It meant that a person would not be able to have children. It didn’t take long for it to dawn on me that they were talking about me. That one of the “further consequences” Dr. Jaeger had been talking about was that my body had been so badly affected by the illness that it was unlikely that I would ever be able to have children. Although I had never wanted to be just someone’s breeding cow, dread spread all over my body, almost immobilising me. An infertile Omega. Who had even heard of such a thing? Omegas’ very purpose in life, our core nature, as everyone said, was to carry and care for children. Words that could be associated with an infertile Omega would be those such as “useless”, “inadequate” and “waste of space and resources”.

 

A burden.

 

As I said, in a small district like Shiganshina the news and the rumours spread fast. By the time I was ready to get out of bed and get back in the streets, everyone seemed to know what my illness had done to my body. I do not know where they once more had got this information from, as I am sure neither Dr. Jaeger nor my grandfather hadn’t said a word, but they knew regardless. What little hope they had held for me anymore had disappeared and what had come to replace it was open resentment. The words “Heretic” and “Barren” now became permanently attached to me, amongst both adults and children alike. No more kind words or gestures were offered. Some even said that my and my parents’ heresy was surely what God had punished us for with this epidemic. They hated me for having brought their hopes up and then squashing them. Most likely many thought it would’ve been better if the illness had just killed me off, since then they would’ve no longer had to waste food on me. Sometimes I wished I would’ve died as well. People would’ve mourned for me so deeply, I would’ve died a saint’s death instead of lived a life where I would be of no use to anyone.

 

Once more, Eren came to my aid and was the only one who didn’t turn against me. He was my only light in the world. He would take me away from the city again and keep me company, especially when my mind went to some of its darkest places. He would insist me to tell more about the outside world and to remember our dream, no matter what anyone said. He would talk about the Scouting Legion and how he planned on joining them in their battle against the Titans that were holding us all captive inside these Walls like livestock. In the meantime, he would be allowed to go outside and see the world that we both dreamed of. The world my parents had once dreamed of. (A part of me was grateful they hadn’t lived long enough to see their son, whom they’d held such high hopes for, become barren.)

 

That dream became my only source of hope now, along with Eren, who was a part of that dream. I swore to myself, to my parents wherever they were and to Eren that I would one day see that world all of us had had hopes for. That I would one day live in that world, no matter what it took.

 

After all, what else can an infertile Omega do but die as honourably as possible as the food for the Titans?


	2. Chapter One: Eren

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is pretty much a retelling of the Fall of Wall Maria, because I felt like that was important to the story and to address certain things, but not all of the story is going to be like this. The next chapter will talk a little bit more about the differences between the canon and this as well as introduce other characters and their types, so stay tuned for more~.

_What passing-bells for these who die as cattle?_

_Only the monstrous anger of the guns._

_Only the stuttering rifles’ rapid rattle_

_Can patter out their hasty orisons._

\--

_What candles may be held to speed them all?_

_Not in the hands of boys, but in their eyes_

_Shall shine the holy glimmers of good-byes._

\--

**_– Anthem for Doomed Youth_** , Wilfred Owen

 

 ...

 

Blond hair and a flushed face. Fear. A lot of blood. Corpses lying around. Black hair tossed by the wind. And…an infant’s cry.

 

It was that which woke me from my restless sleep. I could still hear the baby’s cries echoing in my ears and was tempted to look around to search for that crying child with my eyes, even as my vision began to clear to see the form of my adopted sister Mikasa leaning over me. Her dark eyes were serious as usual and her black hair and red scarf around her neck waving slightly in the wind, among with the leaves above her. I mumbled out her name, my voice a little muffled by the leftover sleepiness.

 

“Let’s start heading back. It’ll be dinnertime soon.” She said, always one to get straight to the point.

 

“…What am I doing here?” I asked her, my brain feeling strangely foggy. I recognised the place as the fields in Wall Maria, just outside of my hometown of Shiganshina, one of the small, closed-off areas surrounding the greater Walls. I was lying in the grass underneath one of the large trees that we often tended to relax under when it got really hot during the summer. But what had I come here for again? Why had I left Shiganshina today?

 

Mikasa blinked at me, but her blank expression didn’t change. “Were you in such a deep sleep that you’re still dreaming?”

 

“No…” I mumbled, sitting up. “I just feel like was like I was having a _really_ long dream…” I began rubbing my eyes which felt suddenly very itchy and like they were burning. Most likely because I had just woken up so suddenly. “But I can’t quite seem to remember what it was about…”

 

Mikasa walked a bit further, raising a wooden carry-on filled with sticks onto her back. Oh, now I remembered. Mom had told me to come here and fetch firewood. The summer was starting to come to its end and it was important to start gathering firewood for the colder weather while the sticks were still dry, she had said. I could see my own carry-on next to Mikasa, right where I’d left it before I’d come to lie down under this tree for a bit of a break. I must’ve been a bit more relaxed than I’d planned and fallen asleep at some point. But Mikasa hadn’t come along at first, had she? No, she must’ve followed me later and gathered her own share while I’d slept. I noted somewhat bitterly that her pile was larger than mine. She could’ve woken me up so I could’ve gathered more with her…

 

What shook me from my thoughts was Mikasa turning back to look at me and her eyes widening just a bit, a bit of a break to her normally nearly expressionless face. “Eren, why are you crying?”

 

“Wha…?” I raised my hand to touch my cheek. Indeed, it felt wet. I hadn’t even realised I’d started weeping. I didn’t feel particularly sad or frustrated, which were the most common emotions to make me cry. So why were tears coming out of my eyes now of all times?

 

Feeling my face heat up from shame, I hurried to wipe my eyes on my sleeve. “Never mind. Let’s go.” I said as I took my own carry-on and began to hurry back to Shiganshina. It took a few moments more before I heard Mikasa’s steps following me, but she didn’t say anything more about my tears.

 

As we approached one of the small side gates which we would use to return to our hometown, I brought it up instead, still feeling quite humiliated. “...Don’t tell anyone I was crying.”

 

“I won’t.” Mikasa replied, her tone ever-even. “But you still shed real tears without any visible reason. Maybe you should talk to your father about it? Ask him to take a look at you?”

 

“Don’t be stupid! Like hell I’d tell him about _that_!” My father was the town’s respected doctor. He had more important things to think about than me crying without a cause. Besides, telling him would probably just lead to uncomfortable questions that I didn’t have answers to.

 

We were now walking through one of the small inner gates that would take us back to Shiganshina. Just before we would’ve stepped into our hometown, however, a familiar male voice cut in to our conversation, having apparently overheard us although we’d been speaking in somewhat hushed tones. “What were you crying about, Eren?”

 

At once, we were also met by the familiar face of Hannes, one of Shiganshina’s resident Garrison Guard soldiers, whose responsibility is to guard the Walls and handle their routine maintenance. However, although he was dressed in his regal uniform and even had his Three-Dimensional Manoeuvre Gear on, with the blade containers hanging on his sides and everything, his face was flushed and the look in his eyes somewhat unfocused. He was drunk again it seemed.

 

Indeed, I could smell the alcohol in his breath as he leaned down to talk to me. “Did Mikasa get mad at you for some reason?”

 

Embarrassed, ashamed and flustered, I answered by yelling: “Why would I cry about something like that?!” The stink of his breath irritated me, even if my sense of smell hadn’t yet developed into its full capacity, so I had to turn my face away a bit to be able to breathe properly. I saw an opening for a change of subject, and remarked on the smell with disgust, coughing a little to emphasise my point.

 

My line of sight freer as I was leaning a bit to my side, I also saw some of Hannes’ fellow officers seated on boxes by the Wall. All of their faces were flushed in a manner similar to his and, indeed, I could see them holding both cups and bottles with alcohol in them in their hands, occasionally taking a swig from whichever they happened to be holding. At their feet on the ground, there were even a few more empty bottles.

 

“You’re drinking again?” I mumbled, more as a voiced thought to myself than to actually ask about something that was already fairly obvious. I couldn’t hide the disappointment I felt very well in my voice, however.

 

“Why don’t you two join us?” Hannes asked me and Mikasa.

 

“Well, um…” I could only hope he was kidding, us being underage and all, so I didn’t answer. Instead, I attempted to change the subject again. “Aren’t you on duty right now?”

 

“Yeah, today we man the gates.” Hannes replied with a smile, before a calmer expression took over his face. “We’ve been here all day, so hunger and thirst began to catch up to us.” He said, sounding almost like a teacher trying to explain the letter ‘f’ to a small child. I felt a flame of anger inside for being belittled like that. “It’s not a big deal if we happen to drink something with a little alcohol in them.” He finished with a carefree shrug as if to emphasise how little it mattered what they drank and ate.

 

However, his explanation seemed to throw oil on the flame of anger inside of me that had been lit by him treating me like someone half my age, rather than all the ten years that I actually was. Hearing him talk about how little he seemed to care about his duty to these Walls – no, rather the people living inside these Walls who depended on him and the others – struck a chord somewhere deep inside of me that I wasn’t sure I was that well-acquainted with at all.

 

“But if you’re drunk, how are you supposed to fight when the situation calls for it?” I hissed out, my hold on the straps of my wood-carrier tightening as my anger grew.

 

Hannes, however, simply looked baffled at my question. “And what would that situation be?”

 

I bit my teeth together, feeling rage course through me by now and my cheeks flushing with anger. “I can’t believe you’d even ask! It should be obvious!” I screamed from the bottom of my lungs, letting my fury guide my tongue and power up my tone of speech. “When _they_ break down the Wall and enter the city!”

 

Rather than directly add anything to my claims, Hannes simply held his head momentarily, telling me not to shout. He probably had an oncoming headache from the alcohol, and sudden noise from so close was starting to agitate it. Seeing him do this did little to soothe my rage, though.

 

One of Hannes’ colleagues stood up from his seat and began approaching us. He seemed to represent the general laziness of the Garrison Guard even better than Hannes, being on the plumper side and with a double-chin. At least Hannes kept himself fit, even in the times of peace and quiet. “You’re real lively, doctor’s son.” He spoke to me with a laugh. “If _they_ ever do end up breaking the Wall, we’ll do our jobs. But you know what…” His face spread into a somewhat cheeky grin. “Not once in the past 100 years have _they_ ever managed to do that.”

 

“But still!” I argued back. “My dad said it’s times like these when we allow us to let our guard down that we’re in most danger!”

 

“Dr. Jaeger said that, huh…” Hannes mumbled, seeming to think a bit clearer now and even standing up a bit straighter, as if just being named in a conversation might make my father appear.

 

I knew Hannes had tremendous respect for him, just like almost everyone living in Shiganshina. You see, some years back there had been a really bad epidemic in the town to which nearly everyone had fallen a victim to. However, Dad had managed to somehow come up with a cure for the illness, despite the fact that no one had seen anything resembling it before, anywhere. The cure came in the form of a liquid inserted into people’s arms from a pipe with a needle. He called this new cure a “vaccination”. It had proved effective as well, despite being something completely new, for after being injected with just a single vaccination, the sick people had begun to get better and the ones who hadn’t been ill yet didn’t end up catching the disease at all. I personally hadn’t fallen a victim to the illness at any point, most likely due to my father’s instructions as to how to avoid it even before he had come up with the cure, but I had seen how horrible it had been and what it could do to a person while assisting Dad as he went around healing the sick ones. Huge spots would break out on their skin, they would sweat profusely with fever and look incredibly pale and thin in their beds. Hannes’ wife had been one of the victims, but thanks to my father, she had survived. Hannes himself had been injected with the vaccine in time and he had avoided the disease, despite living with someone who had caught it.

 

“Well, he’s probably right…I don’t claim to know any better than this town’s resident saviour…” Hannes continued mumbling, somewhat pulling me out of my thoughts. “However, _they_ are an entirely different matter. As a soldier, I see _them_ wandering outside constantly while I reinforce the Walls, but it’s difficult for even me to imagine _them_ being able to do anything about these 50 meter tall Walls.”

 

“Th-then…” I murmured, consumed now both by anger and, hate as I admit it, slight fear. “You’re saying you’re not even ready to fight them in the first place?!”

 

“Pretty much.” Hannes said, carefree as usual.

 

“What?!” I yelled. “Then stop calling yourselves the Garrison Guard! “Wall-Building Squad” would be more accurate!”

 

“That doesn’t sound half bad.” Hannes said, with a small chuckle. However, afterwards his tone and face became more serious, almost sombre. “But you know, Eren, when people see soldiers actually fighting, they know something bad has happened. That’s when things’ll really have gone south. The truth is that everyone’s much happier when we’re doing nothing and they get to call us useless freeloaders, because those are the times of peace.”

 

“Hannes is right, kid.” The other soldier remarked. “I don’t get those guys from the Scouting Legion, going outside the Walls and everything…I swear, it’s like they get a kick out of being in life-threatening situations or something…”

 

I bit my teeth together, still seething with fury, but I understood raging on would do me no good. Although I was an Alpha and these soldiers were Betas, I was still just a kid, especially in their eyes. I wouldn’t be able to convince them by yelling. I put my anger into my jaw and my hands which I squeezed into tight fists. It was a trick Dad had taught me to calm down when the situation called for it. And as usual, it worked as my anger was starting to melt down into bitterness and unhappiness. “Yeah, I know.” I spoke under my breath, my voice much more even now, but even so I could still feel emotions bubbling at the root of my throat. “We may not be able to ever get outside these Walls, but as long as we can eat and sleep we can stay alive.” I could feel Hannes’ eyes focus on me now, clearly surprised by my words, but I kept my eyes on his boot-covered feet, not letting that deter me. “But a life like that would be as if…as if we were just _cattle_.”

 

I heard Hannes gasp, and felt rather proud of myself, until I heard the other soldiers laugh.

 

“This kid sure knows how to talk!”

 

“Although he can’t do anything by himself. Right, Hannes?”

 

I didn’t stick around to listen any more and continued on my interrupted way to Shiganshina. Mikasa followed, almost like a shadow.

 

Truth to be told, I had left because I didn’t have anything to retort back to that. Not yet, anyway. I was still a mere child, living inside these Walls just like everyone else. I hadn’t turned 12 yet, so I wasn’t even working or engaged or anything that people generally associated as rites of passage on the way to adulthood and proper maturity. However, that would not always be the case and when that time would come I’d prove everyone wrong. I would grow strong and join the ranks of the heroic Scouting Legion. I’d fight the Titans with them, travel outside the Walls with them and liberate mankind from these Walls with them. Only two more years until I could join the Trainee Corps and work my way up to becoming a soldier…

 

Right then, as if reading my thoughts or perhaps based on what I had said earlier, Mikasa quietly said to me: “Eren, you should give up on joining the Scouting Legion.”

 

I turned to her, only slightly angry, just because it was her and because I was already a bit calmer than I’d been before. “What? Do you think they are stupid for doing what they do too?”

 

“It’s not really about what I think about them—” However, before she could finish what she had been trying to say, she was interrupted by the sound of the town’s large bell ringing. This bell was only rung for one purpose; to alert people that the main gate that led to the outside of the Walls was going to be opened. We’d seen the Scouting Legion leave a few days before, so that meant…

 

“The Scouting Legion is back!” I cheered, my mood much improved. “Let’s go, Mikasa! Let’s go see the heroes return victorious!” I grabbed her hand to lead her and sped off to a run towards the main gate. Mikasa had only lived in Shiganshina for about a year, after all, whereas I’d grown up here. I knew all the shortcuts and therefore the best and fastest way to get to the gate in time.

 

Still, even though the run took only a few minutes, a number of adults had already gathered by the road leading from the gate into the inner city, making it hard for the two of us to see anything from behind them. Thankfully, I saw two wooden boxes, not unlike the ones Hannes’ colleagues had used as seats, left standing by a building wall. The two of us climbed on top of them, and standing at our full height could now see the returning Scouting Legion well.

 

It was not the victorious sight I had been hoping to see, however. No matter if they were riding a horse, walking or lying down in a wooden carriage, all the returning Scouting Legion members had extremely grim looks on their faces. On top of that, most of them were injured in some way or another; the ones in carriages being in the worst shape, lying there because they weren’t able to walk or ride a horse in their states. The injured ones had been given first aid, but most were bleeding through their bandages anyway. Some were missing limbs, one was missing an eye, some had their whole heads wrapped up so that only their eyes were visible from underneath all the bandages. The vibrant green of their signature cloaks seemed to reflect on their pale faces. It was all terrible to look at, and I could feel my stomach clenching both at the realisation of what this must mean, but also at the number of their grave injuries.

 

I could also hear people mumble and whisper amongst themselves at this sight: “Only this few made it back, huh?”, “There were over 100 of them when they left...now there are barely 20.” and “Does that mean everyone else was eaten? That’s what you get for going outside the Walls.”

 

One woman’s voice rang over all the others, however. “Moses? Moses!” There was alarm in her tone, and I looked over to the other side of the street to see woman whose greying hair was pulled at a simple ponytail at her neck approach one of the walking men, an aging Alpha by the looks of him, with thinning brown hair, tanned skin tone and wrinkles. “Excuse me, I don’t see my son Moses…where can I find him?”

 

There was a moment’s pause, before the Alpha spoke to the man walking by him. “It’s Moses’ mother…bring it here.” The solider went to retrieve something from the cart, confusing both me and the desperate mother. However, by the look on her face, she as well as I both knew this couldn’t be anything good, especially when the solider returned with something long and thin wrapped in a bloody piece of cloth.

 

It was given to the woman, who looked down at it with her face rapidly paling. She looked up at the Alpha man with a questioning gaze, but he gave her no answer. Therefore, she seemed to decide she had to find out what she was holding in her arms herself. She began unwrapping the cloth, and what it revealed wasn’t so much a surprise as a shock. It was a human arm, mutilated and covered with blood and black spots from where it was beginning to rot. I could make out a rather horrid smell from where I was, and I could only imagine what the woman holding it must be smelling. The whole spectacle was so grim, so vile, so…desperately sad. It made me feel sick to my stomach.

 

With the shock came grief for the woman, and she began to weep. She made sounds resembling her being strangled somewhere deep inside her throat, like she couldn’t breathe over her sorrow. As tears flowed down her cheeks she was no longer strong enough to stand and fell down on the ground on her knees, even as the brown-haired man finally offered her some sort of explanation, the grim look never leaving his face: “That was the only part of him we could salvage.”

 

Despite the smell she must be experiencing, the older woman clung to the arm as she cried desperately, and I couldn’t imagine what she must be feeling. She had come alone, without anyone with her, so it was likely her son had been all she had had. And now, he was gone as well. I couldn’t imagine what it must be like, losing the last of your family, when I had never lost even one family member or person I held dear as of yet.

 

All the while she cried, the Scouting Legion stood perfectly still. So did the regular people. It seemed like everyone barely dared to breathe. Finally, the Alpha she’d approached crouched in front of her and I wondered if he was going to try and offer comfort. I pondered what he would say because I sure as hell had no idea what I would’ve said. Her son had joined the Legion and died. What could you say to ease the grief of someone like that, when you yourself had made it out with barely any injuries?

 

He was spared the trouble, however, when the woman spoke up instead, even though her voice still sounded like she had to choke out every word out of her mouth: “But, my son, he…he was useful, wasn’t he?” The man in front of her gasped. “Although he might not have done anything outstanding…he contributed to mankind’s retaliation somehow, did he not?!” She raised her head at her last words and we could clearly see how free tears were flowing down her wrinkling cheeks.

 

Wind blew, and there was another pause. “Of course!” The Alpha man gasped out, but seemed to regret his words immediately as he frowned. “No…” he murmured after a short pause, this time his voice sounding strangled. “During this mission, we…no, even after all our missions…” He clenched his eyes shut, and bend his head as if bowing in shame. “We’ve failed to accomplish _anything_!” Tears were now beginning to fall down _his_ cheeks. To see a grown Alpha man cry in the middle of the street where everyone could see was unheard of. Yet, he didn’t seem able to stop. “Because of my incompetence, soldiers have died left and right for _naught_! And we haven’t learned anything useful about _them_!”

 

As he wept, people began talking amongst themselves in hushed tones again. This time the two somewhat plump middle-aged men right in front of us were amongst them.

 

“This is horrible.”

“Tell me about it.”

“If they had just settled to live peacefully inside the Walls like everyone else, none of this would’ve happened…”

“Really, all this does is show that our taxes are being spent on fattening _them_ and nothing more.”

 

I decided that was the final straw, grabbing one piece of firewood from my pile and hitting the man who had said that on the back of the head with it in rage. Did he really think this was something appropriate to talk about right now, when the situation was so dire it had caused an Alpha man to break down and cry in front of everyone? And yet they were just spouting these things like the Scouting Legion didn’t have feelings or couldn’t hear them talking shit…

 

“What the hell are you doing, you brat?!” the man screeched at me, and I was fully prepared to hit him again, when I felt someone grab the back of my jacket’s collar and begin to forcefully drag me away from the man and the people to one of the many side alleys of Shiganshina.

 

This wasn’t the first time this had happened, so I knew right away who was dragging me. “Hey! What’re you doing, Mikasa?” I screeched at my sister, but she didn’t listen and didn’t even slow down in dragging me, despite the man I’d hit yelling after us. She dragged me until the two of us were well away from everyone else and approaching a dead end. “Mikasa, enough already!”

 

However, she didn’t seem to think so, as out of nowhere she suddenly threw me against the wall so that my back hit it, making the wood I had been carrying scatter all over the place. It also hurt rather painfully, but I refused to let it show any more than by making a pained noise that I could not hold back upon hitting the wall. “What the heck was that for? Look at all the wood!”

 

Mikasa’s expression barely changed, as usual, but I had learned to read her emotions pretty well. She was frowning more than normal, and looked somewhat worried and a little angry. “Eren, did what we just witnessed change your mind about joining the Scouting Legion?”

 

Her question threw me off the loop, and actually made me think. There hadn’t been a trace of triumph or heroism in what we’d seen, nothing like I had hoped the Scouting Legion to be. It had honestly made me rather afraid. But truth to be told…I hadn’t changed my mind. It had been my dream for so long; to join the Scouting Legion, fight the Titans and to see the world beyond these Walls. I wasn’t going to give up on it, no matter how hopeless it may seem. I would gladly give up my life if that was the price to pay in order to be truly free. I refused to stay cattle for the rest of my life.

 

But I knew saying something like that would only make her more worried and as a result angrier, so instead I simply muttered: “Help me pick these up” as I began to gather the firewood back into a neat pile.

 

She complied, crouching down, even if she mumbled: “There isn’t much to begin with…”

 

...

 

After picking up the firewood, the two of us continued on our way home, this time not saying a word to one another while we walked. Shiganshina was a small enough town that it didn’t take us very long to reach our two-story brick house, located by the rock stairs leading up to the hills of the district.

 

“We’re back.” I said as I opened the front door. My mother was cooking dinner by the stove at the opposite side of the house, my father sitting around the table in-between.

 

“Welcome home.” My father replied, looking at us over his shoulder with a gentle smile on his face.

 

“You’re late, children.” My mother scolded, turning halfway around to look at us.

 

“Yeah, well…” I mumbled as Mikasa and me put away the firewood we had gathered into the boxes by the fireplace where we tended to keep them. “It’s a long story…”

 

“Well, never mind. Wash up and we’ll start eating.” Mom said, beginning to set the table. The two of us rushed over to the sink (well, I rushed and Mikasa followed at a normal pace) and pushed the pump attached at its side for water. It was connected to the nearby well, so we got water into the house without having to carry it. This was one of the perks of belonging to a family of a respected doctor, as most people had to haul their water to their houses from the well. It was also a good thing because Dad was always very adamant about the two of us washing our hands before every meal. To prevent infections, he always said.

 

Afterwards, all four of us sat at the table to eat our vegetable stew and bread. We made light conversation, during which Dad announced he was going out of town for a while to travel to the inner Walls for medical examinations. This wasn’t too out of place, as he did these trips a few times a year, but it was a bit surprising we were only hearing about it now. Usually he would have let us all know about a week in advance. Still, I paid it very little mind, being reassured by his words that he’d be back in a few days.

 

Then, almost out of nowhere, Mikasa remarked: “Eren said he wanted to join the Scouting Legion.”

 

Mom gasped and jerked her neck to turn to look at us from the sink where she had already begun doing the dishes. Dad’s reaction was much subtler; a single small jerk of his head upwards and a small gasp.

 

“Mikasa, I told you that was a secret!” I accused, but didn’t have time to say anything more before my mother had come over to me and grabbed my shoulders to make me look directly at her.

 

“Eren!” She yelled, her tone both worried and angry. “What in the world are you thinking? Do you know how many people have died outside the Walls?!”

 

“Y-yes I do!” I yelled right back at her, despite being a bit startled by her harsh tone and words.

 

“Then why—?”

 

“Eren.” My father interrupted her, speaking in an even tone that didn’t betray any emotions. The expression on his face as well, although serious, did not look angry or disappointed or even particularly worried. He had always been the mellow and composed one out of my two parents, despite him being an Alpha and my mother being an Omega, so most would’ve probably expected it to be the other way around. But then, a doctor couldn’t just lose his composure even under dire circumstances, since that might cost a patient’s life, so to me it wasn’t that surprising. “Why do you want to go outside?”

 

I took in a breath and turned to face him properly on my seat next to him, looking away from Mom in the meantime. I voiced what I had been thinking about earlier: “I want to see and understand the outside world; to know what is going on out there. I don’t want to simply live my entire life inside these Walls and then die as ignorant! Besides…” I frowned, remembering the aging woman and the crying Alpha soldier at the street. “If no one wants to pick up where they left off, the sacrifices of those who have lost their lives so far will have been in vain!”

 

“…I see.” My father said, but his expression didn’t change. Then, he stood up and grabbed his leathery medical bag. “My ship will depart soon. I must be on my way.”

 

“Wait, dear!” Mom called after him, following him to the front door. “Talk some sense into Eren first!”

 

“Carla,” Dad began as he put on his hat, keeping his tone calm and even. “a human’s natural spirit of inquiry and curiosity isn’t something that can be talked down.” My mother looked like she wanted to say something more to that, but wasn’t able to as right then my father turned to look back at me. “Eren, when I return, I’ll show you the basement I’ve been keeping a secret.”

 

As if to emphasise, he took out the golden key, which would open our basement door, from inside his shirt where it hung around his neck from a thin rope. I had never been allowed to go in the basement; no one in our family was aside from my father, and even he only went there when the rest of us were either asleep or out of the house. The best we’d had was seeing him come out of it sometimes. Therefore, I could hardly contain my excitement. “F-for real?”

 

Dad put away the key, much to my disappointment for I had been looking at it quite intently. It seemed to represent everything I desired from life right that moment, and it was painful to see it disappear inside his shirt once more. However, I didn’t complain because I wanted to show him I was worth his trust and therefore grownup enough to see whatever he had been keeping hidden from all of us. Instead, I went to see him off to outside of our house, along with Mom and Mikasa, where I waved him goodbye until we could no longer see him.

 

However, as soon as he was gone, the joy and excitement I had felt disappeared as my mother spoke up again. “I won’t allow it.” I turned to look at her in surprise. “Only a fool would join the Scouting Legion.”

 

“What? A fool?!” I hissed. “If you ask me, the people who are content with living like cattle seem way more stupid!” Tired of arguing about this, I ran off, not heeding my mother calling after me. She may be against it, and not having her support did kind of hurt, but in the end this was my life and I should be free to choose what I wanted to do with it. I had told her my views and that I knew what the risks were, and if that wasn’t good enough for her, there was no point in me arguing further.

 

I wasn’t sure where I was going, I wasn’t even thinking about it because I was so angry and sad and disappointed. I merely mindlessly ran around the streets, tears prickling in my eyes even as I bit down at my lip so they wouldn’t fall. However, at some point I turned a corner and spotted a familiar golden head by one of the houses of that particular street. To my further fury the boy whom that head belonged to wasn’t alone. It actually looked like he was being forcefully held against the wall by those bigger boys.

 

Armin was being harassed again and I wasn’t going to stand for it.

 

(Sweet Armin, bright Armin, wonderful Armin…although his ideas and thoughts, as well as him having been declared infertile as a side effect of the epidemic from some years ago, made him a target of harassment and cruel words, he was worth so much more than both he himself and those who hurt him ever imagined.

 

I loved him all my life…but in the end, I wasn’t allowed to keep even him.)

 

Although Armin was an Omega and I was an Alpha, the two of us had been close friends since we were very little. He was the one who had first talked to me about the outside world, as he’d shared with me a book about it that his grandfather had owned. His parents had also gone to the outside world some years ago, but had never returned. So yes, I knew very well what I was risking in wanting to go outside the Walls. But if Armin hadn’t let that cease him on his quest, neither would I. After all, we had made a promise we’d see the outside world together and I wasn’t about to go back on my promise just because my mother didn’t approve of it.

 

“Stop it right there!” I yelled at the bullies as I saw one of them, the one who had Armin cornered and was holding him in place by his collar, raise his fist, clearly preparing to hit my friend. I could see I had their attention now and that they had even taken battle stances with their fists held up. The rush of battle was beginning to course through my veins and I was ready to take them down; to take all my frustrations from what I’d seen and heard today out on them.

 

However, suddenly their faces began to pale and twist in what could only be described as unaltered fear and they began to run away, as if their lives depended on it. I was a bit disappointed I wouldn’t get to fight them, but at the same time proud and triumphant they had been so afraid of my fury that it had made them run away crying to their mothers.

 

“Whoa, look at that! A mere look at me and they scurried away like rats!” I cheered as I reached Armin. Without the bigger Beta boys holding him up, his injuries had forced him into a sitting position against the wall. His cheek looked a bit swollen and his lip was split. It wasn’t the worst I’d seen on him, but then again I couldn’t be sure what he looked like underneath his clothes.

 

“They ran away when they saw Mikasa more like…” Armin mumbled, and indeed from the corner of my eye I could see my sister had followed me here. Figures she would’ve. She rarely let me out of her sight after all. Still, seeing Armin try and get up but wince in pain made me forget my disappointment over the fact that it hadn’t been me the bullies had been scared of and that I hadn’t got the chance to fight them.

 

“You okay, Armin?” I asked my friend, worried, as I offered him my hand to help him up. I hoped he wasn’t hurt too badly since Dad had just left and therefore wouldn’t be able to take a look at him.

 

Armin stared at my hand for a minute, an odd look overtaking his face. He looked as if he was having a hard time holding back tears. Was he really badly hurt after all? Was he in pain? I was just about to ask, when he said: “I don’t need help to stand…”

 

“All right…” I mumbled back at him. Well, guess he wasn’t too badly injured then. He did indeed manage to stand up by himself, although he had to take some support from the wall. I felt proud of him and his will not to give up.

 

...

 

The three of us headed to the river of the town where we tended to hang out, especially during the extreme heat of the summer months. Although summer was coming to an end, it felt comforting to be around the river as far to the autumn as possible. As the sun slowly began to decent in the sky, Armin told us what had caused the confrontation between him and those bullies this time around.

 

“…and when I then said that humankind would eventually have to go outside, they finally began to beat me, calling me a heretic again.”

 

“Dammit.” I hissed, angry at my friend’s behalf. To calm myself, I picked up a spare rock from the ground and threw it into the river, imagining it to be Armin’s harassers. “Why does simply mentioning you’d like to get out turn everyone against us?”

 

“Well, it’s been peaceful to live inside these Walls for the past hundred years. _They_ might be let inside if people recklessly try to go outside, so the King’s government has declared that manifesting any interest in the outside world as forbidden.” Armin stared at the water as he said this, and the light at its surface reflected in his big blue eyes.

 

I huffed. “It’s our own lives we’re risking. Therefore it should be our own choice to make.”

 

“I think you should forget about it.” Mikasa remarked. “I won’t let you go through with this.”

 

“Which reminds me,” I stated, turning to her. “I can’t believe you tattled to our parents!”

 

As Armin made a noise of surprise, Mikasa said: “I don’t remember saying I’d help you keep it a secret.”

 

“S-so…how did it go?” Armin queried softly.

 

“W-well…they weren’t too happy about it.”

 

Armin sighed. “So I figured. It is dangerous out there after all. But…” a gentle breeze flew through, fluttering all our hairs, as well as moving the scattered leaves on the ground and the clouds far above, almost creating an illusion of freedom, of flying. “Truth to be told, I do think that those who believe the Walls will forever keep us safe need to face reality. Although the Walls have been intact for the past 100 years, there is nothing that can guarantee they won’t be broken down someday…even today…”

 

Armin’s words caused me to gulp and nervous sweat to break out on my skin. I didn’t have too long to think about what exactly that meant, though.

 

Suddenly, it simply felt like a lightning had stuck from the clear sky right on us. It made the whole district of Shiganshina tremble and shake so violently that the three of us were thrown off our balance. I felt distorted, dizzy and confused, but the three of us regardless somehow made it back on our feet. Still, something felt different about the air; everything was tenser somehow. But why?

 

“Wh-what was that?” Armin voiced what we were all thinking, the one most clear-headed in all situations as usual.

 

“An explosion? Or an earthquake?” I suggested. However, Armin’s attention was elsewhere already, namely in the people we could see beyond one small opening between two houses. They were all looking up at the Wall it seemed, some of them even pointing, as if seeing something unusual there. They were also murmuring and guessing amongst themselves what had happened. Armin, without saying a word, began to hurry over there as well and me and Mikasa followed after him. I didn’t know what was happening, but I had a feeling it wasn’t anything good and I didn’t want him to go there all by himself. Besides, I also wanted to find out what those others were seeing; perhaps it could give us a clue to what was going on.

 

Armin had stopped by the time we reached him again, and his face was tilted upwards, looking at the Wall just like everyone else. He looked frozen, statue-like, his eyes wide with shock and his face paler than ever. His thin shoulders were shaking a little with fear. “Armin, what is going on?” I queried, slowly beginning to turn my head towards where his eyes were focused. “What are you looking—?”

 

My words froze in my mouth as I finally witnessed what had everyone so shocked. From behind the Wall, a huge cloud of smoke was reaching for the sky, but that wasn’t the shocking or the frightening part. What seemed to be the source of the smoke was an enormous, red, entirely skinless hand that was touching and holding onto the top of the Wall, gripping it so tight that parts of the Wall were coming loose.

 

“It can’t be…!” Armin murmured, once more voicing what all of us must be thinking. “Th-that Wall is… _fifty meters_ tall!”

 

I could feel my own body freeze in shock and fear as well, but I couldn’t stop looking at that hand. “It’s _them_ …” I whispered, as if in a trance. In the meantime, a face just as enormous as the hand before it slowly appeared over the Wall, managing to just and just edge over it so that its chin could rest on the top. Just like with the hand, there was absolutely no skin on the face, and we could all see its white joints and red muscle tissue. It also had sunken small dark eyes and a huge mouth, where we could clearly see all its teeth due to the lack of proper lips and other coverage. The mouth was twisted in a sick, leering grin as if it took joy out of the fear it caused upon us. “It’s the Titans!”

 

What came next happened very quickly and in a blur. The Titan began to move, with all our eyes glued onto its form. We didn’t know what to expect or have time to react; all we could do was to keep staring at it. Then out of nowhere, there was a huge crash at the Wall, which forced us to cover our ears because the noise was so loud that it caused us pain, followed by a gigantic flash of air spreading right into Shiganshina from the front gate. People were tossed by the sudden air current, and the rocks that had come loose from the gate and the Wall surrounding it flew all over. There were screams of helplessness, pain and fear all around us as the air shattered the windows and the rocks crushed the buildings and the people as they landed.

 

As the dust from the blow began to clear, the Titan’s head also disappeared behind the Wall again. Yet we could also see the hole which had been made into the Wall. The Titan had kicked the front gate off!

 

Accompanied by ominous heavy footsteps, we also soon enough bore witness to a 10-meter class Titan, who stomped inside with face frozen in an eerie smile. If people had been scared before, their fright now turned into simple panic and survival instinct as they all began to run and hurry to get as far away from the incoming Titans as possible and towards the gates leading into Wall Maria.

 

I could vaguely hear Armin say something about the three of us needing to hurry and get away too, but I felt like I was trapped inside water or was half-asleep, still inside my trance-like state where it seemed like all my senses had become numb. Even in the midst of all chaos, I had managed to see one of the many rocks fly towards where my house was located. By simple instinct, I began to tumble towards it. I had to see for myself, I had to go look for Mom and warn her…I couldn’t just leave her behind!

 

I sped off into a run, not caring even when I nearly collided with some of the escaping people. If my senses had been numbed down before, they now felt hypersensitive and I felt like I could hear every single cry people made in this town I had grown up in. I passed half-corpses who had been crushed by the debris and I could smell the iron-like scent of blood that mixed with the dust in the air.

 

Our house is definitely safe, I reassured myself as I ran, even as cold fear rushed through my veins. No doubt Mom at least escaped safely. I was reaching the corner which would take us to the street our house was located on. Once I’d make that turn, I would certainly see it there, intact as always…

 

However, just like earlier with the Scouting Legion, my hopes of what I would see were quickly dashed. One of the bigger rocks had fallen right on top of our house, having crushed the roof and left it in pieces and rubble. “Mom!” I yelled desperately as I continued to run towards my home anyway.

 

Only now did I truly notice that Mikasa had followed me, but for once I was grateful for that. Together we began to move some of the spare pieces of wood, calling for Mom all the while as we looked for her in the mess. Thankfully, she soon emerged from underneath, but that was the only good piece of news there were. She was covered from waist down by the remains of our house. She was conscious though and spoke my name.

 

“Mikasa, you hold that side!” I yelled at my sister, getting to the other side of Mom without even putting too much thought into it. All I knew right now was that we had to get her out from underneath all that as soon as possible and then escape this town together before the Titans could get to us. “We need to move this pillar away!” Mikasa didn’t say anything in return, just grabbed the pillar that was holding our mother down with me. We began to try and lift it together at the same time, but it didn’t seem to budge even an inch.

 

The ominous thumping of the Titans’ footsteps reached my ears, and I looked into the distance to see there were now multiple ones in Shiganshina, some of them fairly close to our house. If they reached us before we could get her out, we would all be done for!

 

“Hurry, Mikasa!” I yelled as I began to try and lift the pillar again.

“I know!” My sister replied, a crack of alarm in her usually calm tone as she did her best to help me.

 

In the meantime, our mother was looking around herself by what little she could, and listening to the sounds as well. “The Titans…they’ve entered the town haven’t they?” She mumbled, mostly probably to herself. Then, she raised her voice while looking at me. “Eren, take Mikasa with you and run away! _Now_!”

 

I didn’t let go of the pillar, even as fear and desperation began to creep up my spine and take over, forming tears in my eyes. “I wanna run too! So hurry up and come out of there already!” I tried to desperately hold onto the pillar even though it was hurting my hands, partly because of the weight and partly because I had cut myself on the uneven sharp wood. All the pain was causing my grip to start loosening and my hands to slip.

 

Even as her eyes were shining with her own tears, my mother softly spoke: “My legs have been crushed by the debris. Even if I did get out of here I wouldn’t be able to run.” Tears were beginning to blur my vision and I was shivering from terror and denial. “You understand that, right?”

 

“I’ll take you on my shoulders, then!” I screamed from the bottom of my throat, even as tears began to slowly spill over and I was starting to lose hope despite myself. But I had to keep on believing, because if I didn’t I wouldn’t have anything left to hang onto in this situation and I would most likely lose my ability to do anything. I would freeze, unable to act, even as I would eventually be devoured, probably.

 

My mother’s tears were beginning to spill over to on her cheeks as well. “Why can’t you ever listen to me? You could at least fulfil my last wish!” Her voice was becoming raw and broken from crying and yelling. Even Mikasa was crying now, hanging her head so that her black hair fell around her head like a dark curtain, as if meant just for hiding her tears, her sorrow, her emotions. “Mikasa, please…!”

 

“No…no!” Mikasa simply mumbled, as she kept on trying to lift the pillar, even as she wept. I couldn’t be sure if she was too exhausted or if she couldn’t get her voice to work or if she just felt like that one word relayed enough about what she was feeling, but all she could say was just that one word. She kept repeating it over and over as we kept putting our backs to our work, both of us crying and afraid but refusing to give up and leave our mother there alone. We continued even as the two of us could clearly see an enormous Titan approaching, not at all far from us, coming closer with every step it took.

 

Our mother must’ve heard the thumping, ominous footsteps the Titan made, and started to realise how close we all were to our possible end if we didn’t escape soon, because she said: “Please, just get out of here! Otherwise, the three of us will…”

 

Right then, the familiar whirring sound of the 3D Manoeuvre Gear cables reached our ears and Mikasa and I briefly turned to see Hannes land just a few meters away. As he detached the anchors of his wires from the nearby tower, he hopped the last few steps over to us.

 

“Hannes!” Mom called, her voice filling with a bit of hope, and that hope for a moment reached me as well. I may not have thought much of Hannes or his drunkard ways, but he felt he owed a debt to my family. Maybe he could at least buy us a little bit of time to get Mom out and escape with her? Just killing that one Titan approaching would be enough for me! But then, Mom dashed my hopes by pleading him to take Mikasa and me away rather than fight. I was about to argue, but Hannes beat me to it.

 

“Don’t take me so lightly, Carla. I’ll kill that Titan and make sure to save all three of you!” I mentally thanked him as me and Mikasa continued to pull at the pillar and Hannes stood from where he’d been crouching to talk to Mom, hurrying off to fight the Titan. I could hear him unleashing one of his switch blades from its container, but for now I hardly paid it a mind, focusing on trying to release our mother, even as she yelled after Hannes, trying to stop him from fighting the Titan with face seemingly frozen in a very eerie, sick, gigantic smile that revealed all of its razor-sharp teeth and even much of its gums. Even I had to admit it was horrifying to look at.

 

Nothing, however, happened to the Titan. Instead, before I had time to grasp it fully, Hannes had returned to us. He grabbed both Mikasa and me, even as we were still trying to remove the debris from on top of Mom, lifting me up on his left shoulder and carrying Mikasa under his right arm.

 

I kicked and punched him, trying to make him let go of me. “Hey, Hannes! What the hell are you doing?!” I screamed, even as Hannes began to run away from our house, the Titan and Mom.

 

Mom looked at peace though and whispered her thanks to Hannes. I only knew her words because I could read them on her lip, being carried in a way that I still saw what we were leaving behind. Hannes probably hadn’t even heard her words.

 

“Mom is still trapped in there!” I screamed in protest as I looked at her, trying in vain to convince Hannes to turn around and go back for her.

 

Mom reached out her hand to us, and seemed to use the last of her strength to scream: “Eren! Mikasa! Live on!” I reached out my own hand, as if hoping that I could grab her outstretched one in mine and pull her to me by some magnetic force. But nothing happened; we just kept on going further and further away from her as her form became smaller with every passing second. Still, I kept on watching even as fear and despair as well as realisation of what was about to happen caused my mother to break down and cry properly, her entire face getting covered in tears. They twinkled in the soft light. She covered her mouth with her free hand, as if to keep her sobs in, even though I didn’t see the point of doing that. I doubted her cries would’ve been loud enough to lure the Titans any closer than they already were. As much it horrified me to see it, I couldn’t turn my eyes away even as the Titan finally reached our house, began to dig into the rubble and lifted Mom out from it as if she was just a rag doll and weighted nothing, almost as if making a mockery of all our efforts to try and save her from the debris that the Titan had removed so easily. All I could do was scream as loud as I could for the Titan to stop, but of course it didn’t, even as my mother put up a fight and tried to hit the fist that was holding her captive with her own, comparatively tiny ones. The Titan simply twisted at her middle, and I could almost hear the cracking sound her spine made as it shattered and she became limp in the huge fist. Yet I couldn’t turn my eyes away, seemingly frozen and forced to watch as the enormous monster opened its huge mouth and bit my mother in half, causing her blood to spill everywhere – in the air and on the Titan’s lips and chest.

 

I seemed to become numb, unable to move a muscle, only sitting on Hannes’ shoulder, looking at the direction where my house had been, even after I could no longer see it. It becoming smaller and eventually disappearing from my view was the only indication that existed that moment which told me we were still moving towards the inner gate. Even as Titans kept entering the city and people kept dying and screaming in fear, all I could do was to replay that sight of my mother being devoured in my mind over and over.

 

At some point, I eventually came to my senses and I could smell the smoke and the dust in the air, feel the remains of tears in my eyes, hear life disappear around me into the mouths of the Titans. We were already pretty far away from where we had left, approaching the inner gate by the minute. Realising this caused a fire of rage burn within me as it reminded me of whom we had just left behind, and I took it out on the person who I blamed for that and who was an easy target anyway, seeing as I was being carried by him still. So I, without thinking about it much, punched Hannes at the back of his head.

 

“Eren, what the–” He started, ceasing to run, but I didn’t let him finish.

 

“A little longer and we could’ve saved Mom!” I screamed, a new set of tears breaking out in my eyes, stinging and blurring my vision. “Don’t think I’m going to thank you for this!” I punched him on the top of his head this time.

 

“Get a hold of yourself!” Hannes yelled back at me, surprisingly calmly, as he grabbed my arm while my fist was still resting on the top of his head, throwing me down on the ground.

 

“Eren.” Hannes then said to me, slowly approaching me to where I had landed. I had sat up quickly, not wanting to seem weak like him. “You weren’t able to save your mother…” he crouched to my level. “because you didn’t have enough strength to do so.”

 

His words seemed to mock my efforts, my loss and my grief. So, ignited by another wave of rage, I tried to punch him in the face. “But I…” He said, grabbing the wrist of my struggling arm that was still attempting to reach and hurt him. I could now hear the sorrow in his tone, see the grief and regret darken his face, but it didn’t lessen my fury. “I couldn’t face that Titan…because I simply didn’t have enough courage to do so!” Tears spilled over to his cheeks, and that, along with his words, ceased my struggling and fury, leaving room to only sorrow and pity as the two of us cried, eyes locked.

 

I seemed to become numb again, not reacting all that much even as Hannes stood up and began to lead me and Mikasa away again, this time slower and holding our hands rather than by carrying us. “Forgive me…” Hannes mumbled as the three of us walked towards the inner gate, but I hardly heard him; his words were ringing in my ears, unable to think of anything else. As humans we were so pathetic…either lacking the strength or the courage to defend ourselves against the Titans. That was why Mom was gone, why she had died in such a brutal way, why this city had been lost…

 

Hannes led us through the inner gate to the escape boats that would take us further into Wall Maria. The docks were filled with people who were also trying to get away, but I hardly noticed them even as Hannes made sure we were able to get on the boat. Exhaustion took over and Mikasa and me sat down on the boat floor, leaning our backs against the wall of its indoor cabin. Around us I could vaguely hear people mumbling in disbelief or praying in fear.

 

The ship was getting full and the Garrison soldiers took away the wooden plank leading from the land to the boat. This raised protests amongst the people who hadn’t fit on the boat, but I could barely hear them begging to be let on. Even as some tried to jump on board, I could hardly care.

 

I felt the boat tremble underneath me as it began to move forward in order to escape the hellhole the place I had been born and raised in had become. The cannons firing at the Titans could be heard even over the Wall, reminding us all how close they were, how easily they could still come and snatch us. The gate separating Shiganshina from Wall Maria was still open, but just as we began to leave, it started to close. I quietly hoped everyone still alive had made it onto this side.

 

Then, suddenly, I could again hear those ominous, heavy footsteps. They couldn’t be too far because I could hear them so clearly, and that, and how fast they sounded, seemed to somewhat break me out of my shell-shocked trance. I looked up in surprise, as if hoping I’d be able to see the source. I should’ve thought the steps wouldn’t be able to reach this side, but what had happened so far hadn’t left me feeling very optimistic. I felt like I knew this wasn’t it somehow, that this wasn’t all we were going to lose today, to suffer from today. Something was still to come. I didn’t know what yet, but I knew that it wasn’t going to be anything good.

 

It came faster than I’d thought. Another Titan, this one with huge skin-coloured muscles attached to each other by red joints, soulless eyes, strong-looking two-part jaw and pale blond short hair on tops of its head, seemingly burst through the closing gate, shattering it much like the 60-meter tall Titan had done with our hometown’s gate only around an hour earlier. Except that this Titan was definitely smaller, so it seemed like it had run and punched the gate into tiny pieces, rushing through to its other side in the process. The few soldiers keeping watch with their cannons on this side were blown away by the strength of the attack, but my eyes were so focused on the Titan that I didn’t look where they’d landed or if they were still alive.

 

The Titan had braked with its feet into a halt, and a layer of dust was gathering around it in the air. It opened its mouth and breathed out, its breath hot enough to cause a puff of smoke. It was all so quiet, almost serene, no other sound than the nearby windmills creaking could be heard. It was almost as if no one dared to even breathe during that moment.

 

Finally, someone on the boat murmured, as if thinking out loud: “It busted through…Wall Maria…?”

 

Someone else joined them: “It’s all over now…” I could hear the fear and the tears in their voice. “The Titans will devour us all…”

 

Tears rose into the corners of my eyes as well, but not so much out of fear than out of sorrow. For me, this was the end in another way. If it had been just Shiganshina that had been lost today, perhaps it could’ve been regained sometime soon and we could’ve returned home, but now…the whole of Wall Maria would be lost. Our home was no more, our house was no more. Mom…was no more. I would never be able to go back to what things had been like just this morning.

 

Why did I have to spend the last moments of normalcy with my mother fighting with her? Why had we wasted our time on such worthless disputes? Why had I been so immature and stubborn to the end? Now I would never be able to see her again, to apologise, to say I appreciated everything she had done for me…to say “I love you”…

 

I stared down at my hand as my tears dropped drown onto it, seeing all the cuts and scrapes I had got from the wood trying to pull Mom out from under there. It served as a reminder that I had been too weak to save her. No, it wasn’t just me. All of us humans were weak right now. And because of that…we could do nothing but cry?

 

Hannes’ words echoed in my head. _“You didn’t have enough strength.”_

 

_“Become stronger”,_ in other words?

 

Thinking that seemed to light something in me once more. I closed my damaged hand around the single teardrop that had fallen down onto it, and sniffed in to stop the flow of more tears coming out. Resolved, I stood up, held my back straight and walked over to the edge of the boat. “I’ll wipe them out…” I determinedly hissed under my breath. “I’ll erase their existence from this world…until not a single one is left anymore!”

 

With this thought in my heart and these words on my lips, I watched as the places I had known all my life disappeared around me as the escape boat carried all of us into whatever new life was waiting for us in Wall Rose.


	3. Chapter Two: Armin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter finishes the Fall of Wall Maria, talks about what happened afterwards as well as shows the beginning of the trio's military training. We also meet new characters, learn the types of most of them and find out what kinds of special arrangements the army has made in order to be able to keep the few Omegas who want to join there.

 

I have felt helpless, weak and small practically my entire life, but never so much as on the day that Wall Maria fell and we lost our homes in Shiganshina. And never have I been so afraid as when I saw that giant hand cover the top of the Wall. Although I had known that peace was barely a false sense of security for us and that it could not and would not last forever, nothing could’ve prepared any of us for what had been about to happen. All we could do was watch and see our hometown get destroyed and abandoned as it turned into a living hell. I couldn’t stop shaking the entire time.

 

So fixated was I on what was happening all around us that I had failed to notice Eren had left my side. As I turned to look for him, I saw him heading towards his house, most likely to get his mother. Mikasa rushed after him, staying close to his side in the crucial moments as usual. I tried to call after her, to tell her not to go, that it was too dangerous, but I felt like my body had frozen still. All it could do was tremble. I cursed my own weakness and cowardice, my inability to do anything to help my two friends even though just a few hours earlier they had once again been there to help and save me. But I knew that being the weakling I was, I wouldn’t have been much help to them in any case, no matter what the situation at their house might’ve been. Who was I, a simple tiny Omega boy, to stand against the Titans?

 

“To stand against the Titans…”? That thought echoed inside my head. I looked around myself, trying to make sense of the chaos around me. Soon enough, my gaze found Mr. Hannes of the Garrison Guard nearby, hurrying and leading people towards the inner gates. The Garrison may not have been the Scouting Legion and were very little else than menders of the Walls, but I knew Mr. Hannes, just like my family, owed a great deal to the Jaeger family from the times of the epidemic a few years back. If nothing else, he might be able to rescue my friends and bring them to safety. My mind made up, I rushed over to him to tell him that Eren and Mikasa had went back to their house to look for their mother and that I was afraid for their safety because they would be going to the direction where the Titans were coming from. Mr. Hannes didn’t need any further convincing or explaining. He quickly thanked me before taking off into the air on his 3D Manoeuvre Gear, heading towards the Jaeger house. Feeling unable to do anything more to help my friends, I set off to find my grandfather.

 

I quickly crossed paths with him as he had been heading for where I had been coming from, trying to find me as I was trying to find him. He expressed his relief on seeing me alive before grabbing my hand. We began to rush over to the inner gates together. All the while we were running, I kept looking behind me, hoping to catch a glimpse of my friends, to get some notion of hope that they had escaped safely. But I never saw anything.

 

We made it through to the other side of the inner gates where the escape boats, which would take us further into Wall Maria and then, if necessary, into Wall Rose, were located. We were let on the boat rather quickly, seeing as I was only a child and Grandpa was all the family I had left. Still, I could hear some of the people who were waiting for their turn to be let on murmur to themselves, saying things like: “What use is there letting a barren Omega kid and an old man on when they will be of no use to anyone?” and “I know. It would be better if they hadn’t escaped Shiganshina at all.”

 

My throat hurt and burned from the tears I held back at their words. A part of me wondered if they were right. What right did I, of all people, have to be allowed on the boat before someone else, when I would only grow up into a useless, meaningless adult? All I would ever be to anyone, be it society or my friends or my grandfather, was a burden. What had even possessed me to leave Shiganshina? It would’ve been better if I had just followed Eren and Mikasa; maybe I could’ve at least done one thing to help them before I died…

 

“Don’t listen to them, Armin.” My grandfather spoke up suddenly. “They are letting their fear guide their mouths. In a situation like this, everyone will put themselves before anyone else. You are not in the wrong for being here, or for escaping with your life.” I didn’t know what to answer, as I still wasn’t quite convinced. He seemed to notice, and grabbed my still-shaking hand to reassure and comfort me. “You must survive, Armin, if only for my sake. You’re all I have left now…”

 

I bit my lip, still struggling not to cry – this time not only out of fear and sorrow, but also out of compassion and gratitude towards my grandfather. He had first lost his son and daughter-in-law and now the place he had called home all his long life. I was, indeed, all that remained. I latched onto that thought, keeping it pressed tight against my chest, repeating it over and over in my mind. Such a thought made me feel less awful about being alive, being on this boat. As long as Grandpa was alive, I had something of a purpose to live. I kept on quietly repeating that thought to myself even as I stood up and tried to look for my friends in the crowds of people once more. I couldn’t feel completely all right with having escaped before I could confirm that the two of them were in safety as well.

 

From the corner of my eye, I could see the first of the escape boats leave as the soldiers hurried the people to get on board of the one we were on as fast as they could while still keeping chaos to minimum. Everyone was encouraged to leave behind whatever little luggage they might’ve managed to grab before leaving the town so that more people could be fit on board; going to inner Wall Maria, we would have nothing but the clothes on our backs. It made sense to leave all material things behind, as they couldn’t compare to saving a human life, it but also emphasised how much we had lost and how rock bottom we would be even if we managed to escape with our lives intact.

 

“Armin, sit down.” My grandfather spoke to me softly as I kept eyeing the crowd, trying to find my friends amongst the masses of people still waiting to be let on.

 

“But Eren and Mikasa aren’t here yet…” I murmured worriedly. But then, when I turned to look again from having spoken to Grandpa, I finally saw them with Mr. Hannes and some other soldiers, ready to board the escape boat. “There they are!” I sighed in relief. I attempted to wave at them to let them know where I was, but quickly ceased in my movements as I caught a closer look at their faces. Eren looked paler than I’d ever seen him, seemingly staring emptily and purposelessly in front of him, not knowing what to do or say except be led onto the boat by the soldiers. Mikasa’s usually very expressionless face was also pale and sombre, looking almost like she was ready to cry but didn’t know how to. I didn’t see Mrs. Jaeger with them either…

 

“Leave them be for now.” My grandfather said to me as my friends began to slowly climb on board, having also taken a look at them in their seemingly shell-shocked states. “Those poor souls. You can tell what happened by looking at them.”

 

I swallowed forcefully, my throat feeling tight again. Mrs. Jaeger must not have survived. I silently mourned and grieved over the kind woman who had never turned me away from her house or judged me for what I was and what I had become, who had always offered me sweets and buns when I came to visit Eren’s house, who had told me to be careful on my way home and to stay for dinner because she thought I needed more meat on my bones…

 

I also mourned for the sakes of my two dear friends. We now had all lost family, but judging by the looks on their faces and the fact that I knew they had been heading towards their house, I figured it was safe to guess they might’ve witnessed their mother dying. At least I had never had to deal with having seen my parents go – they had simply disappeared from this world quietly and unnoticed. I couldn’t imagine what was going through my friends’ minds right now, what they must be feeling. What was I supposed to say to them when I would eventually see them again and be able to talk to them? Should I try and offer words of comfort, or words of relief that at least the two of them had survived? Should I try and act normal, like nothing had happened, or express my deepest sympathies? I didn’t know. None of these options seemed right, seemed adequate, seemed enough.

 

These thoughts, as well as the desperation and stress over the situation and everything I had experienced thus far today caused the tears I had been trying to hold back to finally spill over to my cheeks. As my friends stepped on the boat, I quietly wept for them, our home and my grandfather; everything all of us had lost and the struggles that would continue follow us as we left this place as refugees and residents of the looked-down outer districts.

 

Not long after my friends had boarded a boat and we were preparing to flee Shiganshina and the areas surrounding it, we all witnessed another Titan smash through the inner gate to Wall Maria. However, although I was there to see what would later be known as the Armoured Titan do this, I couldn’t tell you what I felt or saw at that time. I feel like everything happened so fast, as if in a blur, and everything whirling inside me just made me into a mess. I could do nothing but cry hopelessly as the realisation that all of Wall Maria would now have to be abandoned, instead of just our small district of Shiganshina. I didn’t know what to expect to happen from then on, with us having to escape all the way to Wall Rose, with thousands of people ending up as refugees instead of hundreds, with humanity having lost a third of its territory overnight. All I knew was that nothing good would happen.

 

That year of 845, the Central Government decided to reduce the human territory to Wall Rose. However, the Titans had managed to devour 10,000 people before this could be accomplished.

 

The residents of Shiganshina, including my grandfather and I, with Eren and Mikasa, ended up in one of the outer towns of Wall Rose, and for the first few nights were accommodated on the bare, uncomfortable floors of what used to be a food storage area. We were given rations, but all that could be spared to feed us was a small loaf of bread for a whole day. There had always been a food shortage even without the loss of Wall Maria, after all. The people of Wall Rose murmured amongst themselves, complaining about having to give food to us from the outer Walls whom they had always looked down on anyways. Some couldn’t even get any rations at all, but Grandpa was able to get Eren, Mikasa and I some as we were still children.

 

Still, hearing those whispers made me think about why I had survived at all once more. There was no point on wasting food on someone like me who would never become or amount to anything. Surely they wouldn’t have given me anything had they known what they were feeding with the little food they had. Eren even refused food at first, not wanting to take charity from people who didn’t give a damn about any of us and talked about how the Titans should’ve eaten more of us if they were going to invade anyway, even though they had never even seen one up close. Mikasa made him eat, though, telling him she wouldn’t let him starve. He was all the family she had left now, after all, and she would make sure he survived. Apparently their mother had told them they needed to live on and survive and that was what she wanted to focus on. She looked at me from the corner of her eye when she said this, and I understood she included me into that equation. That gave me the courage I needed to eat my own share of rations. I remembered Grandpa’s words. I still had him to live for, as well as my friends. As long as I had that, I would and could keep on going forward.

 

A few days later, us refugees were sent to cultivate land to boost food production. Eren, Mikasa and I would spend the next two years at the farmstead the three of us were sent to with my grandfather. The days spent there have blurred together for the most part. Generally I can only remember the constant cold, with nothing but thin cloaks provided for us to shield us from the upcoming winter keeping us warm and the constant hunger from never having enough food. Being refugees, we were considered the lowest of the low in the human race, with even less worth than we had had when we had been known only as the residents of Wall Maria and the outskirts of human territory. Thus, we were given the least food, despite being the ones to mainly produce it, considered to be the ones at fault for the shortage in the first place. In a way, I couldn’t blame people for thinking like this, knowing that hunger gnawed at everyone and not just us, but I also thought it was too cruel of them to wish more of us had died. More of us should’ve lived. This never should’ve happened in the first place. And kind Mrs. Jaeger would never be seen again…

 

However, our efforts at the farmstead were not enough to fix the food shortage. That’s why, in the following year of 846, the Central Government launched a campaign of retaking Wall Maria by enlisting refugees to fight the Titans.

 

My grandfather was among them.

 

He had been old enough not to have to go, just as Eren, Mikasa and I were too young to be enlisted, but he decided to go anyway. He didn’t tell me his reasons, but I could guess. He saw what the situation was and knew that the food shortage couldn’t be fixed by us cultivating more land alone. There simply wasn’t enough land to cultivate in the first place. He was enlisting so that the ones of us who wouldn’t leave and the few who might return from this mission would have the chance of leading slightly better lives. That group included me as well. I didn’t beg him not to enlist and when he left, I didn’t allow myself to cry. We didn’t say anything to each other as he departed. There was nothing left to say, no words of comfort or encouragement to offer. We both knew he wouldn’t be returning; he was untrained and old, too weary to fight or run like the younger people. But he would be with my parents again, or so I hoped, and I believe we both took comfort in that knowledge.

 

Before Grandpa left, he pressed his old straw hand on the top of my head, the weight of his familiar, wrinkly hand a small sense of comfort to me. During that brief moment, all my existence seemed to be in that weight on my head. I watched him leave as long as I could, before he disappeared into the crowd of other refugees and soldiers. Only when I could no longer see him did I cry. Silent tears for my last family member, lost to the plans of the Government, just like it was possible my parents had been as well.

 

Out of the 250 thousand refugees enlisted, numbering almost a fifth of the entire population, only about a hundred came back. My grandfather wasn’t among them. The fact that with his and the others’ sacrifice the food shortage improved somewhat for those of us still alive offered little comfort to me.

 

I hadn’t cried during the time of my grandfather’s absence on the recovery mission, but did again the night the survivors of the retake returned and I couldn’t find him. I had known all along he wouldn’t be there, but I suppose some part of me had still refused to stop clinging onto some notion of hope that I would be wrong. Eren, Mikasa and I had snuck into the city from the farmstead to see the returning people that day. I was sitting, leaning against a building wall in a back alley we had fled to after seeing the survivors. I had brought Grandpa’s hat with me, perhaps having hoped I could return it to him upon seeing him again, but now it only served as the last piece I had left of him. I held it close to me as the tears began to fall, gripping it as tightly as I could without breaking it. Despite being entitled to my sorrow this time around, I cried as silently as I could, not wanting to seem even weaker than I already did in front of my strong friends, and also because I didn’t want anyone to find us.

 

My friends offered no words of comfort, but I was grateful for that. There was nothing to be said, just as there hadn’t been when Grandpa had left or their mother had died. What had happened had happened, nothing could change that or make it better. Grandpa and their mother were gone and we were now alone aside from each other. I was a refugee child, an infertile Omega boy. The lowest of the low. What would I do now? What could I do? I had lived by believing it was all right for me to survive because Grandpa had wanted me to survive, but now…was there any reason for me to keep going? I really should’ve just died, if not from the epidemic, then during the Fall of Wall Maria…

 

“This is all because of the Titans.” Eren suddenly spoke up. I ceased my crying to listen, and my thoughts began to move as well. The Titans were what had trapped us inside these Walls…the Titans were responsible for the deaths of my parents, whether or not they had actually been eaten. It hadn’t been safe for my parents to go out there because of the Titans. The Titans had caused us to lose our home. The Titans had killed my grandfather.

 

“If only we could fight them…we could take back our rightful place in the world.” Eren crouched down from where he had been standing against the wall, so that we were almost level to level. “Armin, I’m applying for military training next year.” I was hardly surprised to hear him say this. Eren had wanted to join the Scouting Legion since we had been very young, but now he had even more of a reason. He wanted to retake what had been lost, but also gain revenge on the behalf of his mother, my grandfather and everyone else who had lost their lives to the Titans’ terrors.

 

“I swear I will become strong enough to fight them!”

 

I faced away from Eren and his determined gaze, and as I swallowed down the rest of my tears, I made up my mind. I had been thinking about this for a while as well, so it wasn’t a spur of the moment decision by any means. But Eren’s words seemed to set my decision to stone. Where Eren went, Mikasa followed, so if I stayed I would be alone. Alone, I really wouldn’t be able to be of use to anyone. In the military, if I went down, I could maybe at least go down with having been useful to someone, even if just a little. Besides, knowing what the monarchy had done, as well as what the Titans had done…I felt like I needed to find out more about why all that had happened, and the best place to learn about that would be in the military. I couldn’t just keep on sitting still while these things kept happening around me, with me being unable to do anything about them. I didn’t know what I would be able to do or if I would be able to do anything, but…

 

“I’ll come with you.”

 

“Armin?!”

 

“I’ll come with you!” I half-yelled, leaving no room for arguments. If anything, at least I could be with my friends for a while longer before I would meet my demise. There was even a chance that I could become stronger so that I wouldn’t have to rely on the two of them all the time anymore. If I would be able to do something for them, for humankind, I would be satisfied.

 

It didn’t surprise me when Mikasa stated, quietly and in an even voice: “I’ll join as well.”

 

“Mikasa? You don’t have to!” Eren exclaimed. “Wasn’t it you who always said survival was the most important thing?”

“Yes. That’s why I’ll join – to ensure your survival.” Her tone left no room for arguments either.

 

Seeming to understand that, Eren stood up again, and looked into the distance with determination and resolve in his eyes. “All right then. We’ll all join together.”

 

I looked at my friends. I couldn’t be sure what the future had in store for us, but all I could hope for was that for now, we could at least stay together for a while longer.

 

...

 

_One Year Later_

The military carriage picked us up from the city near the farmstead, along with some others close to our age from the nearby cities, towns and villages. The journey to the desolate military training barracks in inner Wall Rose was bumpy and uncomfortable, but thankfully not very long. Some of the kids riding with us made small talk between themselves, but the three of us merely huddled close to each other and said nothing. As we closed up to the training grounds, however, Eren stood up, excitement lighting his eyes as he pointed it out to all of us. I was glad to see some joy on his face once more. Since the death of his mother I had been afraid that side of him had been lost forever, as it seemed like he had hardly smiled at all during the past two years. If being in the military meant he could have hope and joy again, then I was all for it.

 

As we arrived, some other teenagers were already hanging around the grounds and fields of sand in their bare minimum military uniforms, consisting of the Trainee Corps jacket, a shirt of their own choice, the standard white pants and high boots. The grounds themselves were surrounded by forests and low mountains, and consisted of few simple wooden buildings, likely serving as sleeping houses for boys and girls, food storage, stables and perhaps a dining hall and a infirmary.

 

An elderly Beta man with a large nose escorted us to one of the houses, which turned out to be the changing rooms and the showers. Girls went to the right with a female instructor, so Eren and I had to separate from Mikasa for a bit.

 

In the changing rooms there were piles of military clothes waiting for us. “Hurry and choose ones that you feel fit you the best. The further you go from the door, the larger the size.” The instructor said to us as we stepped further into the room. “We’re starting the welcoming ceremony for you new cadets soon, so do not dawdle. You’ll be asked your name, and you must answer with that, your birthplace as well as your birthtype. Offer your trainer instructor a salute while you’re stating your information.” He demonstrated the standard military salute by holding his right fist tight against the left side of his chest, his other arm held against his lower back. “This salute indicates you’re offering your heart and soul for the people and the king. That’s all you need to know for now. Come back out to the yard once you’ve changed. A piece of advice: do your best not to be too intimidated. Good luck to you, new cadets!”

 

He left us to pick out our new clothes. I immediately went for the smaller ones, having not grown very big quite yet. I knew I might still gain some height in the upcoming years, but it was also not improbable I would remain short and small all my life. Despite my infertility, I was still an Omega and we were generally smaller than the other types, as we were meant to be the nurturers and the caregivers, rather than protectors. Our small sizes also gave us a better chance of being able to carry a child into full term, not needing as much nourishment as a bigger body would.

 

“Why do we need to state our type too? Isn’t that just asking for trouble?” Eren wondered out loud as we began to change (his clothes size was a few ones bigger than mine, him being an Alpha and all).

 

“Perhaps so, but I can also understand why they want to know right away.” I replied as I stepped out of my own pants and hung them up. “Whether we like it or not, most of us are at least to a certain degree driven by our primal instincts our types cause us to have. Certain kinds of conflicts are most likely to rise between certain types, certain strengths or weaknesses might rise in one type more than another. I think the instructors want to know to look for these kinds of things that might rise based on our type, to know what strengths to look out for and nurture, what weaknesses to be wary of and try to improve.”

 

“I guess that makes sense, but…” He looked around himself to see if we were being listened to. The other few in the room with us seemed focused on their own dressing and talking amongst themselves. Seeing the coast was clear, he whispered to me: “Will you be okay? I think at this point no one will bat an eye at you having a mild scent since we haven’t fully matured yet, but later, you know…”

 

I sighed. Dr. Jaeger had told me that because of my infertility it was doubtful my scent would spike as it did with other Omegas and Alphas to attract possible mates through the stronger pheromones. As a result I would probably smell more like a Beta than an Omega for the rest of my life, very much retaining my current childhood smell. As we would grow, everyone would learn my secret and I would be subjected to judgement again, but…

 

“It cannot be helped.” I said sadly to my oldest friend. “At least I’m making myself useful. Most Omegas don’t enter the military, so I suppose if everyone must know my reason for being here, I won’t mind too badly. At least I won’t have to turn anyone’s offers down.” I tried to joke, laughing weakly. However, seeing that Eren’s worried expression didn’t change, I put a hand on his arm, trying to reassure him. “Eren, it’s all right. If I can’t get married or have children, at least here I may be of some use to someone. If that means they must know about my situation, then I’ll be fine with that and accept that. You don’t have to worry.”

 

He still looked a bit worried, but didn’t say anything more as we finished changing (my boots were a bit too big on me and the jacket was a bit loose at the shoulders, but Eren looked like he had been born to wear the uniform) and left to go back outside. We met up with Mikasa, who looked regal and ready in her own uniform, even while retaining her usual signature red scarf, and headed to the yard together.

 

Outside, the other young teenagers were being arranged into neat lines, although there didn’t seem to be any logic as to where you were placed in the line. Boys and girls were mixed up and they certainly weren’t arranged by height either. One of the instructors arranging our future classmates spotted us and waved at us to come closer. Before we noticed it, we had been put into the lines as well. I was placed at the end of the third row from the buildings we were facing, next to a tall and slender girl with shoulder-length dark hair, freckles and sharp, small eyes. An Alpha girl, I could smell – she was no doubt a bit older than I was, having already developed a more potent scent. She smelled salty to me, not particularly attractive but not unattractive either. Eren and Mikasa were somewhere behind me, but I didn’t dare to move my head to look for them, afraid I might get reprimanded. There was no talking in the rows aside from the instructors telling this and this person to move there or there. The rigidity and apprehension of what was about to happen was thick in the air and I found myself unable to relax, my stomach turning slightly from nervousness. I could smell the tension of the others around me, some more potent than others, their scents mixing together with the dust in the air like a pot you had put everything you had in your cupboards in.

 

Finally, the instructors who had been arranging us walked to the front to face us directly, and from the side walked a tall, older Alpha man. He was completely bald, but had a brown beard hanging from his chin. He had many wrinkles, looking as if he had lived a very stress-filled life so far, somewhat sunken light brown eyes and a proud posture, as if nothing could intimidate or shock him anymore. He walked to the middle of the other instructors lined up at the front, the tails of his faded green long coat flowing behind him, before facing us head-on (I had to suppress a shudder at his intense gaze, reminding myself to try and not look too intimidated) and opened his mouth.

 

“We shall now begin the enlistment ceremony for the 104th Trainee Corps!” He bellowed out, his powerful voice carrying over the entire yard. “Unfortunately for you, I, Keith Shadis have been assigned as your instructor! I’m not here to give you a warm welcome. Right now you’re all merely cattle who exist to fatten up the Titans. Nothing more than that! For the next three years, I will train you useless shits and possibly help make something more out of you! You will be taught how to fight against the Titans! Therefore you must now ask yourself: ‘In three years, upon facing a Titan, will I still be mere food? Or will I be an honourable wall that protects its king? Or perhaps a glorious champion of mankind that will exterminate the Titans?’! The decision lies in your hands!”

 

I gulped as I watched and listened to Instructor Shadis go around my new classmates, asking all of them who they were and what they were here for in perhaps the most insulting and horrifying ways possible and then rubbing more salt to the wound afterwards by mocking either their name, their birthplace, or the person themselves. I was only glad I had not been the first one, for at least now I could be prepared for what was to come. Would he question why an Omega boy like me was in the military? Would that be what he’d jab me with? Would I have to answer? Would everyone learn my secret already on our first day here?

 

As Instructor Shadis made it to the end of the first two rows, he ordered them to turn around, making them face the humiliation of the ones behind them. Most of these new trainees were Betas by default, but there were a few Alphas here and there as well. No other Omegas so far though…

 

He had almost made his way through the third row and was now coming down towards me. Although it had taken him some time to go over all us in the row, he was still on me far quicker than I would’ve liked and I tried my best not to panic and to keep a straight face as he turned his eyes towards me. I vaguely realised he hadn’t said anything to the Alpha girl on my left, but I had no time to ponder why that was before he spoke to me.

 

“Hey, you there!” He said to me, still keeping his voice up and I briefly wondered how his voice wasn’t cracking yet from so much yelling.

 

I gave him the firmest salute I could muster. “Yessir!”

 

“Who the hell are you?!”

 

“Armin Arlert, an Omega from the Shiganshina District, sir!” I said as firmly as I could even as I felt cold sweat drip down my neck, bracing myself for him to say something about my type.

 

“That so?” He queried. But what he said next completely shook me off a loop. “What a ridiculous name!” I had been so sure he was going to question an Omega being in the military that at first I barely felt the insult. I felt merely relief. I was sure many of my fellow cadets were wondering what I was doing here, but the fact that the instructor hadn’t brought it up right on our first day in front of everyone made me incredibly grateful. I was still tense and nervous, but I now felt more like I could respond to him properly and keep a straight back and face.

 

“Did your parents name you that?” Instructor Shadis asked me next.

 

“My grandfather did, sir!” I answered him, keeping my voice as loud as I could, even as the memory of my grandfather caused me pain. It also now started to hurt he’d insulted the gift he had given me as my name, but then again I couldn’t expect anything more. I had to remember this was the military and I couldn’t expect special treatment. If he wasn’t going to insult my type, he was going to insult something else about me, just as he did for everyone else. There was no helping it and I had to take what I was given.

 

Shadis leaned down so that his face was right next to mine. “Arlert, what the hell did you come here for?!” His spit hit my face as he yelled this and I tried not to show how that disgusted me.

 

“To make myself useful in the struggle for humanity’s victory, sir!” I yelled from the bottom of my lungs. Nothing else mattered. All I wanted to do was to be of use in the fight against the Titans, no matter if I ended up alive or dead as the result. That was what I was here for. If I could contribute even just a little, I would be happy to die anytime. And if I couldn’t be useful, at least I would cease to be a burden on anyone if I died in a Titan’s mouth.

 

“Well, that’s mighty admirable!” Shadis said, as he grasped down on my head. At first glance it might’ve seemed like he wanted to ruffle my hair, but in truth he was holding my head in a very tight, hurtful grip. I only hoped he couldn’t feel me shaking. “You will make an excellent bait for the Titans!” He now began to twist my head backwards and, in order to not have my neck broken, I turned the rest of my body with it as he ordered the rest of the third row to face backwards as well. We all did, relieved that, for us, the yelling was over and done with. I could now also see Eren in the fifth row and Mikasa in the seventh.

 

The next person he went over to introduced himself as Thomas Wagner, a blond-haired Beta with fuzzy sideburns from Trost and then Mina Carolina, also a Beta from Trost, but with dark hair in twin pigtails. Some, like the two of them, were not asked their reason for being here. Few were those who had stated their reason for being here to be in order to fight the Titans; most said they were in it to join the Garrison Guard and therefore have a stable source of income. Not many dared to outwardly state they were here for the Military Police Brigade, perchance as in order to join that part of the military, you had to be in the top ten of the graduating cadets and they didn’t want to seem arrogant.

 

Maybe it was for this reason that another boy from Trost, a tall one with somewhat messy, light brown, two-toned hair with an undercut caught my attention.

 

“Who the hell are you?”

 

“Jean Kirstein, a Beta from Trost, sir!” The boy answered, his sharp and small amber eyes focused straight at Shadis.

 

“What the hell did you come here for?!”

 

The Beta boy, Jean, hesitated a moment before replying, in a quieter tone: “To enter the Military Police so that I’ll be able to live in the interior, sir.” I could tell Jean was either a very honest person or very sure of himself, or both, daring to state that even as a Beta he hoped to be placed in the top ten. He also dared to state his honest reason for this – the security a job in the Military Police would offer – rather than lie and say he wanted to serve the King and the country. He was doubtless also one of those Betas that tended to clash with Alphas due to their conflicting ideals and goals. Betas generally were the conformers who went with the flow as long as they could ensure a decent life for themselves and the people closest to them, after all, whereas Alphas tended to extend their thoughts towards improvements in society and their arms to everyone who needed help. I could predict Jean might clash with Eren especially, Jean clearly being something of a realist where Eren was an idealist. I would have to keep an eye out for that.

 

“I see. So you want to live in the interior, huh?” Shadis queried, his tone also quieter now, but somehow that made me even more nervous than when he’d been yelling.

 

“Yessir.” Jean replied, but the words had barely made it out of his mouth before Instructor Shadis head-butted him on the forehead. Either Shadis had a very hard head or had butted Jean very hard, but Jean fell down on his knees in pain, holding his forehead. I winced in sympathy for him despite myself.

 

“Who gave you the permission to sit down?!” Shadis yelled at full volume down at Jean. “If you can’t handle even _that_ , you’ll never make it into the Military Police Brigade!” Again, I was pleasantly surprised by Instructor Shadis not remarking on what type Jean was or stating he was not capable of making it to the top ten just because of his type. Someone else might’ve said that, while competing with Alphas, a Beta would never be able to make it. If we wouldn’t be judged by our type but rather by our actual capabilities, I might actually be able to like the military a little, even with all the yelling and insults. In our previous lives, I hadn’t been allowed to dream about anything else but a husband and children just because I was an Omega, and then when it turned out I wouldn’t be able to have children, I wasn’t allowed to dream about anything at all. As an Alpha, Eren was expected to be the strongest and the brightest, but to be honest he was neither, even in our small group of friends. But as if to make up for all that, he had a lot of heart to spare, and was loyal and determined. And then, of course, there was Mikasa. She was a Beta, but she was incredibly strong; had been as long as I had known her. She always seemed to know just what to do, how to act, how to fight. Her type by no means held her down and if allowed to bloom in an environment like this, who knew what she could become if nurtured right.

 

Instructor Shadis now approached another fairly tall youth, taller even than Jean, if slightly skinnier. He had short black hair, friendly-looking brown eyes, strong jaw and freckles on his cheeks. I couldn’t smell him from this far away and in the melting pot of this many scents, but I guessed at first glance him to be either a Beta or an undeveloped Alpha.

 

“Who the hell are you? What the hell did you come here for?!”

 

The boy’s face and posture were slightly tense as he opened his mouth, but the voice that rang out was clear and the tone unshaken: “Marco Bodt, an Omega from Jinae Town in Wall Rose’s southern district! I’ve come to enlist in the Military Police Brigade and to devote myself to serving the King, sir!”

 

I couldn’t hold back the small gasp that escaped my lips. Another Omega boy, here?! And he was aiming for the top ten too? So far the military seemed like a more liberal environment when it came to birthtypes, despite us being required to state them right from the beginning, but could an Omega really expect to reach a place in the Military Police? But…this Marco didn’t look like the typical Omega. He was tall whereas most of us were on the smaller side,and he kept his hair short whereas most of us were either expected to or liked to keep ours long (for me it was a force of habit more than anything – my parents had wanted me to keep it at least somewhat long, so I had, and kept doing so out of both habit and respect for their memory). In a way, we were both different from what Omegas were supposed to be, although his differences were already visible in plain sight and mine would hopefully stay hidden for a few more years at least, but still…the thought of someone like me being here made me feel better, and the tension in my shoulders eased just a little.

 

Shadis was quiet after Marco’s response, and I prayed he wouldn’t crush the boy’s dreams that seemed so genuine. “I see.” Shadis finally said. “That’s a fine goal to have. Although…” He leaned down to talk to Marco as he had done for me and I wondered if he just did to all Omega cadets he got here. He didn’t yell at Marco though, but still spoke loud enough for us all to hear: “I’m fairly positive the King’s got no interest in your scrawny body.”

 

I wasn’t sure what to think about the obvious sexual implications of his words. I was disturbed and somewhat disappointed that, in a way, his type had come up, but on the other hand could guess why the instructor had said those words. Things might be done one way here in the Trainee Corps, but later on, who knew what kinds of people we would all meet in the military ranks? There were surely going to be people who would think us Omegas shouldn’t be here, who would think themselves entitled to our presence or question our capabilities or successes. There might even be harassment. If Marco was serious about the Military Police, whom I had only seen brief glimpses of during my days at the farmstead but could still tell they in general weren’t exactly the best people around, he would have to be prepared for all that as an Omega. It was unfair, but it was true.

 

The next one Shadis talked to was a short boy shaven almost completely bald aside from the very slight fuzz of hair on the top of his head, with big amber eyes and looking as nervous as the rest of us felt. “Connie Springer, a Beta from Ragako Village in Wall Rose’s southern district!” He introduced himself with a salute…but the salute was wrong. He was doing it with his left hand instead of his right, and therefore covering the right side of his chest rather than the correct left. I had barely time to notice this before Instructor Shadis did as well.

 

If he had gripped my head tight when he’d forcefully turned me around, he was now completely squeezing and crushing Connie’s head between his hands, _lifting him up to the air by his head_.

 

“You have it backwards, Connie Springer!” He yelled at the short boy, who was quietly moaning in pain between Shadis’ hands. “I know this was taught to you before…that salute symbolises your will to offer your heart and soul to your cause! Is your heart on your right side, shithead?!” Just as I was starting to get worried about Connie suffering brain damage at the hands of the instructor, the sound of someone biting on something caught seemingly everyone’s attention, including Shadis’. We all turned to look at a girl a few rows down from Connie, one with dark auburn hair pulled in a high ponytail and lighter brown eyes, who was not following the “welcoming ceremony” diligently like everyone else, but instead holding what looked like a potato in her hand and eating it.

 

There were a few still moments of silence as we all could do nothing but stare in awe and horror. Who in the world was daring enough to bring a potato to an event like this and then _start eating it in the middle of the ceremony?!_ While the instructor was yelling at all the other cadets?! I began to tremble again, fearing what Instructor Shadis might be about to do to that poor girl, as he dropped Connie down and approached her instead. “Hey, you. What the hell are you doing?”

 

The girl looked at her right, as if she wasn’t sure who was being addressed. Not seeing anything out of place to her right, she simply took another bite out of her potato. She didn’t seem to understand she herself was what was out of place here.

 

In the meantime, Shadis had come all the way over to her, being very up close to her face much in the same way as he had been to Marco and I earlier. “You! I’m talking to _you_ , you scum! Who the hell are you?!”

 

The girl began to furiously and hurriedly chew the bite she had taken and managed to swallow. I had to give her some credit for that, for I was certain that had I been eating or drinking anything with Shadis so close to me and yelling, I would’ve choked. She saluted lightly, with the potato still held tightly in her right hand. “Sasha Braus, a Beta from Dauper Village in Wall Rose’s southern district, sir!”

 

Instructor Shadis stared down at her head on. “Sasha Braus…” He mumbled. “What is that you hold in your right hand?”

 

“It is a steamed potato, sir!” The girl called Sasha replied, not flinching a bit. “I happened to see it in the kitchen and couldn’t help myself, sir!”

 

“In other words, you _stole_ it?” Shadis mumbled, and he really was more frightening when he was calm than when he was yelling and I felt myself shiver again. “But why…why did you take it out and begin eating it now?”

 

Sasha seemed to hesitate, to consider her answer for a few seconds. “Potatoes are the best when eaten hot, so I thought eating it right now would be the best course of action, sir.”

 

“…No, I still don’t understand. Why are you eating a potato?”

 

She frowned in confusion, clearly lost and not knowing what to answer or do. To be honest, I didn’t know what kind of an answer the instructor was waiting for either, or if he was waiting for one in the first place. It could be that he was just trying to break Sasha, whom so far had barely batted an eyelid at him, as he’d broken the rest of us. “…Are you asking me why people eat potatoes in general, sir?”

 

I shivered again. Whatever answer Shadis had been expecting, I was certain it hadn’t been that. Time seemed to stand still, no one dared to move a muscle as we all watched what was unfolding as subtly as we could, waiting to see what Shadis would do next, what he would say to the girl.

 

However, when someone finally moved, it wasn’t Shadis, who merely kept staring at Sasha. Instead, it was her who moved, ceasing to salute in order to hold onto her potato with both hands. She pulled at the opposite ends, splitting it into two pieces. She held one up for the instructor, even if she looked incredibly reluctant to do so. “You can have half of it, sir.”

 

Seemingly at loss at what else to do or say for the moment, so shocked along with the rest of us by Sasha’s actions, Instructor Shadis took the piece offered for him. “…Half…?” He murmured, looking at the potato piece, halfway frozen. Sasha only smiled sheepishly at him.

 

Shadis hesitated a moment longer, simply looking at the potato piece he was holding. Then his face began to darken into a frown and I sent a prayer for that poor girl’s soul. “You!” He yelled at Sasha, probably soaking her face in his spit. “Go run laps! Run around this yard until you no longer can’t!”

 

“Wha…?” Sasha mumbled out, looking only slightly shocked.

 

“And you’ll get no dinner tonight!”

 

“ _Whaaa?!_ ” She screamed out at that, in a way that seemed to shake the entire yard. “N-no, sir, why would you…?!”

 

“No buts! Go run!” Sasha still hesitated a moment, as if to confirm if he was serious. “What the hell are you waiting for?! Go!” Finally, she rushed to the edge of the yard and began to run. However, I saw her gulp down the rest of the potato she still had left before she did.

 

Afterwards, Instructor Shadis went on with the welcoming ceremony, going through the rest of my new classmates, excluding a few. Into these few belonged Eren and Mikasa, a short girl with her light blond hair pulled into a bun and two older-looking, very tall boys; one blond, one dark-haired. I wasn’t sure why Shadis had skipped these particular individuals as well as the dark-haired Alpha girl next to me, but I wasn’t really able to think about it deeper with Shadis yelling. There were a few more Omegas amongst the rest of the young teenagers, but I was too nervous to count the exact number. All I knew that our numbers were extremely small, getting quickly lost in the masses of Betas and Alphas.

 

Finally, all of the introductions were done. Sasha was still running and Shadis told us to go join her until he would tell us to stop. I gulped in anxiety. I had never been very athletic and I wasn’t sure how long I would be able to run. What if I was sent away already on my first day here because they didn’t see me being fit enough to be a soldier?

 

However, just as the crowd began to grow thinner, one of the instructors who had stayed in the sidelines, an older Beta man with slicked-back grey hair and round glasses, called over the crowd: “All the Omegas here, come with me!”

 

Now the anxiety I had been experiencing turned into a near panic. What could he possibly have to say to us? Would he question our reasons for being here? Tell us we should just leave and focus on finding good mates? Maybe even make us leave? Would I even be allowed to say goodbye to Eren and Mikasa…?

 

Eren came up to me, Mikasa following quickly behind. They both looked worried and I could see the obvious “You don’t have to go.” on their faces, but I simply shook my head. Whatever it was, I would have to face it if I wanted to stay here. I wouldn’t allow them to make me leave without even trying to stay. Perhaps they just wanted to see if we were actually as serious about being here as the other types were?

 

“Go ahead. I’ll join you later.” I told them. Eren opened his mouth to say something, but I cut him off. “Don’t worry. I’ll be fine.”

 

He seemed to hesitate, but Mikasa seemed to become reassured by my words and grabbed his arm to begin dragging him away to run with her. I saw my chance and I began walking in the opposite direction, looking around for the other Omegas about to join me. I naturally saw Marco, who caught my eye and gave me a small smile. I tried to nervously smile back, but probably came closer to a grimace. The grey-haired instructor was waiting for us on the front porch of the biggest building around the area. As we reached him, he led us inside, revealing a mess hall with multiple tables and seats around them lined up for us to sit and eat at. Now that we were all gathered, I could actually see how many Omegas there were. The number was extremely small; there were only five of us altogether and Marco and I were the only boys.

 

“Welcome to the military, new cadets.” The instructor said to us with a soft smile, and I relaxed at the realisation that he was going to be less likely to shout at us than Shadis had. He actually seemed like a fair, good man. “I would like to start what I am about to tell you by asking _you_ all something: Is there anyone here who has already experienced their first heat? Or perhaps even more than one?”

 

We all looked at each other, before Marco slowly raised his hand.

 

The instructor nodded kindly at him. “How many heats have you had so far?”

 

“Only one, sir.”

 

“And how long ago was this?”

 

“…About six months ago or so, sir.” I was slightly surprised by this, as heats generally came every four months. Still, Marco didn’t smell like he was about to go into heat anytime soon. Now that there weren’t so many people around, I could actually focus my sense of smell more clearly. To me, he smelt of cherry juice. A rather pleasant smell, but not attractive or desirable, as we were the same type and therefore wouldn’t be compatible as mates.

 

The instructor smiled down at Marco. “Do not worry. It is quite normal while you’re still young that the times between the heats might be longer and inconsistent at first. For some, it can take a year after the first heat before the second one takes place.”

 

Then, he looked over at all of us gathered in front of him. “The reason I called all of you here was to talk to you about the special arrangements we have made here in the military for you Omegas, so you can expect to lead lives as equal as possible to the others here. This also means you must not expect any special treatment from the instructors. You will be expected to be able to do everything that everyone else here is capable of as well. All boys will sleep together in the same lodgings, as will all the girls; you will not be separated from Alphas and Betas in any way.

 

“However, us here in the military realise that this could be very dangerous for your kind, both here and in your later service, if you suddenly went into heat and the Alphas around you wouldn’t be able to control themselves. That’s why we have come up with this.” He took something from out of his pocket. It appeared to be a small, orange pill. “This is called a Heat Suppressant Pill. It was developed specifically so that Omegas could serve in the military alongside Alphas and Betas without any unpleasant incidents. Once you start taking the Pill, it will make your scent and pheromones milder, as well as prevent you from going into heat so long as you’re taking it. You will be taken off the Pill for about a week during the darkest times of winter, when it’ll be harder for you to train in any case; during this time you will go into heat for a week instead of the normal three to four days. However, I must warn you that because this heat will have to make up for all the ones you were supposed to experience during the rest of the year, once the heat will finally be allowed to come, it will be more intense.”

 

I could hardly believe my ears. A medication which would suppress not only our heats but our scents? Just so that us Omegas could stay in the military if we so wished? Not only did it feel wonderful to be accepted into military with such open arms even being the weakest type, but it also gave me newfound hope. If every Omega here was going to be having a very mild smell, I might not stand out after all. Everyone who didn’t know better would simply assume that my scent was so mild because I was taking the Heat Suppressant. If everything worked out for the best, I might never have to tell my secret to anyone I didn’t want knowing…!

 

The instructor continued: “We are not allowed to give you these until you’re nearing your first heat or have had one, as that might lead to complications in your development and fertility. Therefore I encourage you all to ask someone to keep an eye on your scent for when it starts to spike, as well as keep tabs on all the typical symptoms that may indicate you’re nearing your first heat, such as increase in appetite and tiredness, and crankiness. When you feel like you might be about to get your first heat, come and find me and I will give you the Pill. Take the Pill every day with breakfast, and you will be able to pass for Betas. Any questions?”

 

One of the girls in our group raised her hand.

 

“Yes?”

 

“Umm…are we still allowed to, to…mate while we’re here?”

 

The instructor’s expression darkened. “I am afraid that is forbidden so long as you’re all trainees. During your time here, us instructors are the ones responsible for you, your safety and well-being, and we will have no way of making sure if a cadet’s family would approve of the one they’ve chosen to mate with. It would also be difficult to figure out how consensual it all was, especially if the mating happened during an Omega cadet’s heat. We also cannot risk a trainee ending up carrying a child in the middle of training; the harshness of it all could make you lose the child. So no, so long as you’re cadets, you will not be allowed to mate. Once you graduate, however, you will be considered to be full-grown adults, so then you’ll be allowed to mate if you so wish. The military also allows you to retire from service if you so wish once you find a mate and perhaps have your first child.”

 

Well, that type of information wasn’t much use to me, seeing as I probably would never have someone to mate or have children with. Even with a mild scent, if someone tricked themselves into believing they had feelings for me and came to me with offers of marriage, I would be forced to tell them the truth about my condition. I wasn’t so desperate for a mate as to trick someone into marrying me. And after finding out about my secret, who in their right mind would still continue to want to have me as a mate when there were other, fertile Omegas to mate with instead?

 

There were no further questions, not even from me for once. Technically all of this didn’t even really have much to do with me, it was just a way for me to keep a certain type of mask on. But I still couldn’t help the intense relief that I felt; it was as if I could breathe properly for the first time in years. If only I could stay here in the military, no one would have to know my secret. I might finally be able to live a normal life without expectations, disappointments and the contempt that followed those.

 

Seeing as everything seemed to be clear to us, the instructor dismissed us. Marco stayed behind for a bit to get his prescription of the Heat Suppressants and to consume his first one, having already been through heat once. I took my time getting back outside, hoping to not have to run as much if I did so. After a while, Marco caught up to me.

 

“Hey. Your name is Armin, right?” He said to me, giving me a friendly smile. He had a nice, straight row of white teeth.

 

“Yes. And you’re Marco, right?” I smiled back at him, this time much more genuinely than before, still feeling like the world had been lifted off my shoulders.

 

“That’s right.” He smiled a bit wider. “You know, I’m really glad I’m not the only male Omega here. So I’d really like it if we could be friends. You know I’ve already had my first heat, but if you like, I could keep an eye on when yours might be coming up, so you’ll know to be prepared.”

 

The nervousness seemed to return, though not with the same intensity it had had before. If Marco was going to be watching out for my never upcoming heat, would he eventually find out I was infertile? Or would I be able to lie and tell him that I had caught the symptoms early enough for him not to smell them? But as he said, we were the only two boy Omegas here, and in fact he was the only other Omega boy I had ever met, so I already felt a strange connection to him. Plus he seemed so nice…

 

In the end, I decided I would worry about him finding out when the time was closer. For now, I just wanted to have someone whom I could talk to about certain things I couldn’t speak to even Eren about because of our types. “I would really like to be friends too, Marco.”

 

“Great!” He gave me another smile and then rushed to catch up to the others who were running. A few had already removed their jackets in the dry summer heat. I spotted Eren and Mikasa running side by side in the crowd and caught up to them, beginning to run as well as I could next to them.

 

“What did that guy want?” Eren asked me right after he had spotted me, the protective, angry edge in his voice telling me he was ready to get in trouble for roughing up an instructor if they had done or said something that had made me uncomfortable or upset in any way.

 

I smiled at him, both to reassure him and because I still could barely contain my joy and relief over what we had been informed. I told him about the Heat Suppressant and what it could mean to me and my kind here. How here, we would be judged just like everyone else and how nothing else would matter than our capabilities. How here, we could be just like everyone else. How here, our type would not matter if we didn’t let it.

 

Eren’s eyes sparkled more and more the further I talked, and the relief and happiness I was experiencing inside seemed to overtake his face. He was clearly overjoyed for me and the knowledge of that made me incredibly warm inside. Mikasa’s reaction was subtler, but she was giving me a small smile as well.

 

“This will be good for you then. No judgements. You’ll be able to use all of your capacities without any contempt. This is the place to do it.” She said to me. I smiled at her, though a little hesitantly this time around. I still wasn’t sure what I would be able to do here, or if I would be able to do anything at all…but at least, it felt good to know that if I was made to leave the military, it wouldn’t be based on my type, which I couldn’t help or do anything about, but rather my own capabilities, which I could at least somewhat influence by working hard. All I could do for now was my best and hope that everything would turn out all right, with both my old friends and possible new ones by my side.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There we have it. Most of the main characters' types have now been introduced. Some you may have seen coming from a mile away, some may have come as a surprise. For instance, I know most of you may have expected both Mikasa and Jean to be Alphas, but as I said, I wanted to play with conventions a little. In this Omegaverse, if I had to summarise the three main types with one word, Omegas would be the nurturers, Betas the conformers and Alphas the protectors. For this reason, I felt like Mikasa and Jean fit as Betas, caring first and foremost about themselves and the few people closest to them, rather than being concerned with the ways of the world. For Mikasa, my decision also had to do with how she fits into the Shiganshina trio group; I felt like it was appropriate to have one of each type in the trio.
> 
> If you feel like saying something to be about this story to me, questioning my choices or simply hitting up a conversation, I’m nihonlove also on tumblr and I tag this as 'fic: the world was made for us'.


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